My Brother is a Piece of Work...

...He is really not.. I have nothing to complain about when it comes to him... I actually hit the "brother lottery" if there is such a thing. He is the only "blood kin" relative that I have told about my blog.. I talked to him the other night and he said he would check out my blog this weekend and leave me nasty comments. I told him to bring it on. :) He has three kids and he is very busy running a trucking terminal and all. I decided to write about him to see if he really reads it.. My brother had lots of questions like "What is your blog about?" ahh... I said nothing really... random thoughts.. I guess maybe like the "Seinfeld" show. A show about nothing. I guess I have a blog about nothing.

I said, "I blogged about our grandma".. He said, "What would you have to say about her?" I said "lots".."remember that time she asked me and my mom who was fatter in a picture me or an unidentified relative?". ohhh..yeah..he said.. I guess he decided then I might have something to blog about since I am related to the feistiest woman in the south who tells stories that are difficult to follow along with. Sound familiar?

I have not let family members in on the "blogging situation" only because most of them provide me with great material and I am afraid I wouldnt be able to blog about them if they actually read the site. So I will keep it quite.. I certainly do not want my parents reading my blog.. They provide years and years worth of material.

So Brother Tim, you might actually want to read this... because I certainly have stories about us growing up... which mainly revolve around our go-cart. Do you remember when you laid down on the grass and asked me to run over you with the go-cart? and you know what happened after that.. I certainly obeyed your wish.. you should be thankful I didnt run over you and back back over you several times. :) :) I would certainly do that now... :) I kid..I kid...

The photo above is the most recent photo I have of my brother.. Yes, most folks say we look alike...

Well, Welcome aboard my brother..if you are actually reading this and neglecting your three children... :) I kid... I neglect a whole lot when I am blogging... like ahhh.. your phone calls. You cant interrupt the blogging process... :) This is my blog of the day.. With Love, Bamaslammer

I almost died..one time...really.. I did...

I did...really... maybe it sounds a little dramatic but I did and my rescuer would more than likely appreciate a nice "shout out" for jumping into the freezing river to save me. And yes he is still my friend today....or at least I hope he is...

The picture included with this blog is some of my teaching peeps. I worked with those folks for about, I really dont know.. let's say a long time and keep it at that. We have remained friends and have had many great times together over the years. Teachers are really a fun group to work with. I thought it was just the special education teachers in training at college that were the fun group. But no it really is teachers in general that are a lot of fun! You certainly want to invite them to your party but make sure you have some cocktails on hand because the night will become interesting rather fast that is for certain. I plan for this to be the start of many "teacher friend" stories.

My drowning incident occurred at my buddy's birthday party (the guy pictured in the middle with all the ladies, Hampt). He and his nice family have a boat that is docked on the Sattilla River (I think that is the name of the river). Give me some credit I just officially moved to Georgia and I dont even know the river names in Bama. I mean rivers are great and I love them but they seem to have the tendency to all look a like dont they?? :) and yes I do need a geography lesson.

We always have a great time on that boat. The guest list includes a lot of fun folks who really enjoy letting their hair down and I am by far no exception to that rule. I had a few drinks, ate a wonderful meal at the dock, and then we set up cruising up and down the river having a great time. The boat trip occurred in early spring and the water, even though it is hot as the devil here was still very very cold. The cold water usually does not stop many folks from jumping in and having a good time.

On the cruise, Jason was at the back of the boat smoking a cigar. I am sure he is enjoying time away from me. :) I was at the front of the boat sitting on the side with my feet dangling in the water having a nice conversation with one of the party goers. Throughout my conversation with her, I kept saying if I fall in the water will you save me??. Of course, she replied. I continued to say that over and over and to this day I am not sure why I would say that. I have always been a decent swimmer and have enjoyed swimming all of my life. My mom has always been terrified of the water and continues to be to this day. So she made sure my brother and I knew how to swim. When we were growing up she made sure that we were involved in swimming lessons, going to the pool, and the river as often as we could. So I am not sure why I had thoughts in my head about drowning, maybe it was foreshadowing of the event to come.

I was happy with my feet dangling off the edge of the boat and watching all the goings on on the boat. I enjoyed watching several folks take jumps into the water off the roof of the boat. It looked like fun but I wasnt about to do it. For some reason, while people were taking jumps off the boat and everyone was watching them I decided to take off my bathing suit cover up and slip into the water. So much for that brilliant plan. I come up from the water for air underneath the boat! Luckily, there is space underneath the boat so I was okay but about to panic. No one would actually know that there would be room underneath the boat unless you went underneath the boat. Which I do not think many people would want to do on a regular basis. Going underneath the boat wasnt in my plan. My plan was to jump into the water to cool off. Not go underneath the boat and possibly drown. By this time, the folks on the boat begin to panic, also well, except for Jason.:) They didnt see me jump in they just knew I was "missing". My friend that is pictured, Hampt, jumped in the freezing cold water to save me. But had no idea where I could have gone. To his knowledge I had drowned or a gator had got me.

I finally pulled myself together and swam out from underneath the boat. The current that day was so strong it was not an easy task. And had I paid attention to the current I hope I would have never jumped in anyway. By this time, Jason pulls me onto the boat and my friend who saved my life is in the freezing cold water still looking for me.

I am forever grateful to my friend for rescuing me and making sure that I was able to see another day. To this day, I have made fun of Jason for this. I ask him "Just what were you doing when I was drowning?" His reply is always "I didnt know you were drowning until you were popping your head out of the water".. My response back is " I know exactly what you were doing you were filling out life insurance papers".:)

Thank you my friend for saving my life..and I promise no more drowning incidents. This is my blog of the day! With Love, Bamaslammer

Put a Sock In It....

I am no fan of Oprah... that might be an understatement of my feelings for the Big O. I know that we are to never say bad things about Oprah or she will send people after us.. I just think she takes her self way to seriously. The media plays into her and makes the world think that this woman is absolute perfection. I do think she is a nice, generous, and grateful person and has made something of herself against all odds.There are many nice, generous, and grateful people in the world but they do not have to be on my TV every minute of the day talking about all the great things they do. Oprah certainly has a lot to be proud of and she has worked hard..BUT.......

I am so tired of hearing about her weight gain. It really makes me want to vomit.. I mean come on.. She has billions of dollars and she gained 40 lbs.. cry me a river.. Ive gained some weight but I certainly do not have access to billions of dollars. Billions of dollars to employ all of these "gurus" to coach my life and cook for me. But if I did...lord help me... everyone would have to stay back...I would be too much to handle probably a lot like Oprah.

Oprah..please get off my TV and stop whining about your big butt... No one likes a Whiner! This is my blog of the day! With Love, Bamaslammer

My How Times Have Changed....

New Year's Eve... Is also our anniversary. Jason and I got engaged two years ago on New Year's Eve.. I remember it ohh so well... He asked me to marry him and then we went to a friend's house and celebrated with them. We had a really great time and we rang in the New Year with Champagne and a Kiss..this year we rang in the new year with Chili Dogs and Braxton Hicks Contractions... Yeah..loads of fun

This year was completely different... I asked Jason over and over what he would like for our New Year's Eve and our Anniversary Dinner. I could never get a straight answer.. So I said how about "Chili Dogs".. He said that sounds good. Throughout my pregnancy I have so wanted a Chili Dog.. But of course like most things on the "do not eat or your baby will be harmed list" hot dogs are on there. Before I was pregnant I wouldnt have touched a Chili Dog even if my life depended on them.

I decided since this baby is about to come I could have one Chili Dog on New Years. That one Chili Dog just about killed me or almost put me into labor. I thought I had to avoid them because of the preservatives but I think it is more like avoid them or they will send you into labor! I had my wonderful chili dog with my homemade chili and after that I was down for the count. I started having the "Braxton Hicks Contractions" and I thought I might possibly have the New Year's Baby. I laid down and watched Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin ring in the New Year and went to sleep. The next day I was back to normal, Thankfully.. I kept telling Jason I cant Have the New Year's Baby the house is not clean and my bags are not packed. For some reason I dont think the baby is waiting on me to get my things is order so she can arrive.. just a lucky guess.. I think she will come when she gets good and ready..

This post just proves that I am a 95 year old grandma...and would rather sleep through the new year then celebrate it..How the times have changed. I did enjoy watching Anderson and Kathy together. I felt they had great chemistry and were ohh so funny together. Maybe they will do more shows together. I hope you enjoy the picture of Anderson and Kathy together..:):)
This is my blog of the day.
Love, Bamaslammer.

Letter to my Daugher...

..This is a take off from Brad Paisely's great song "Letter to Me". At first I hated that song but one day I actually took the time to listen to the lyrics and the song is quiet touching. One day I will actually write a letter to me.. but to start off I think I will start a letter to my daughter who will be entering the world quiet soon. I do know the most important thing is her health and happiness and ofcourse they are both number one on the list. But this is just about telling her a few things and acting as if she would listen. I am fully aware if she is anything like me she will not listen for one second. I will do my best for this not to come off as cornie and overly sentimental.. This are things that I find important. I am not saying that I follow them or have followed them but life might have been even easier if I had.

1. Learn to spell and use correct grammar ... and do not cheat on spelling test. It is actually important to know how to spell without the use of spell check.
2. Know when to keep your mouth shut and listen.
3. Do not jump into other people's business even if they have invited you into their business especially marital issues... Stay way out of it.
4. Be kind to everyone no matter where they are from and what they do. By being judgmental of others you only miss out on great people you meet along the way.
5. If you decide to go to college meet as many people from other parts of the USA and outside the USA. By hearing how things are in their country you will become even prouder of being an American and will gain empathy for those who gave it all up to come to this country with nothing.
6. Listen to your intuition. Follow your gut about people and situations. If you do that you will make the right decisions in life.
7. Never listen to a man unless he is your father or grandfather. Even so, remember your father and grandfather are men so after you talk to them go talk to your mother or grandmother to make sure they are giving you correct advice... :) Men most of the time mean well they are just misguided...
8. Get an education... that is the only thing in life that cant be ripped right out of your hands. Marriages and families fall apart and people betray you.. if those things happen you still have your education.
9. Dont fall into a career because it is safe and you get a steady paycheck.. Although that certainly is a bonus.. Follow your dream and your heart.. I wish I had.
10. Stand up for those who are made fun of and who do not have the things you and the other kids have. You will be so glad you did.
11. Go out of your way to be kind to the elderly and of course animals.
12. Use ma'am and sir... Just do it no matter where you are it means alot
13. Dont take family and friends for granted... I do and I regret it
14. Laugh at your mistakes.. because if you dont everyone else will and you do not want to be that person that cant take a joke.
15. Find good friends and keep them.
16. Listen to your parents.. they love you and want the best for you.
17. Go away to college... do not live with us... You need to make big mistakes, find adventure and make friends.
18.Remember that your parents are human and will make mistakes.. I forgot that along the way and expected them to have all the answers and when they didnt it was life changing for me.
19. Always sleep on it.. You may be mad and you may want to strangle someone.. but wait til morning... :)
20. Life is full of joy and disappointment just learn to roll with it and know that no matter how bad it gets better days will come along.. just hang on.
21.Dont be afraid to say "I need help", "I dont know what I am doing".. This is a big one for me.. I have learned the hard way on this.
22. Say your sorry even if you feel as though you have no reason to be.. just do it.. it makes the situation a little better and we all make mistakes and say things we dont mean.. that is life.
23. Life is Never Ever Fair.. Dont expect it to be... and dont whine and cry about it not being fair.. No one likes a whiner.
24. Dont be afraid to cry on a friend's shoulder.. You will more than likely be asked to return the favor.
25. Always remember you learn more by listening than you do by talking.
26. Learn from your mistakes and other people's mistakes.
27. Say "No" and dont be afraid to do so.. People will take advantage of you if they can. Dont let them.
28. Look out for your friends..
29. Trust people but always be skeptical..
30. Take advice dont always think you know the answers
31. Always treat people who work with the public nicely.. because their job is certainly not easy.
32. Give it a shot.. even if you think you are terrible and you have no talent go for it anyway.
33. Play a sport of some kind I never did but wish I would've tried something.
34. Dont worry to much what people say about you.. people will always have a negative thing to say.. just be like a duck and let it roll off your back..
35. Know when to stand up for yourself and know when something is really a non issue and not worth the time to get all bent out of shape about. This usually comes with age.
36. Celebrate Holidays.. dont be a "Debbie Downer" like me.. I promise I will do better and have some Holiday Spirit... My New Year's Resolution.
37. We all do and say stupid things-dont dwell on it.. forgive yourself and move on.
38. Believe in something with all of your heart.
39. Be a thoughtful daughter and daughter in law.. I am pretty terrible in this department.
40. Be Kind to your spouse.. dont make it feel like he is serving out a prison sentence.. yes, I am absolutely terrible in this department.. yet, another New Years Resolution.. :)
41. You cannot control people or events.. have a sense of humor about it.. and remember what is happening at that time is more than likely not life or death and will be a good stand up comedy routine the next day.

Please feel free to add to my list... This is my blog of the day... With Love, Bamaslammer.

What Kind of Outfit Is This????

..ahhhh..Thanks but no thanks.. or thanks and I will re gift to my grandma next year... Well, let's just return it because I dont even think my grandma would wear that...

Okay, I didnt really say that but I certainly thought it when I unwrapped that "get up". I know it is not that bad well it is that bad to me.. It was just all wrong.. I mean I live in south Georgia and it is hot as the devil down here and I am pregnant and therefore no heat is allowed to ever run in the house, ever!! Even if it is 30 degrees outside no heat! And dont even try to be sneaky about it because I will know quick and you will suffer...

Yes, I have been a dream to live with the past few months. Honestly, I havent been to terrible except for the last couple of weeks and anything revolving around the heat makes me more miserable. The words that I say I cant really believe come out of my mouth.. I am just so miserable and hot all the time. Most of you have read that saying and I cant remember exactly how it goes.. But it is something to the effect "She is awake and the devil is scared".. Well I am the "She"... I just cant help it.. I have tried to be nice and not start my day grouchy. But Trust me it has not been easy..

Everyone is at risk when it comes to my grouchiness. No matter who you are.. I have wanted to grab the folks at the gyno. office by the throat so many times you wouldnt believe. But I have to see them twice a week and my baby has not been delivered yet. So I certainly want to hold off my ugly comments until a later date. It is so hard...

Back to the lovely "get up"..I am thankful Jason thought of me at Christmas time. We had planned not to buy gifts for one another. We are planning on putting our money together and purchasing a video camera and that will be our Christmas gift to one another. But Jason kindly went out (on Christmas Eve) and bought me those sexy PJ's and a even sexier robe pictured above. He wrapped them all by himself and was so proud of his purchase. I opened the packaged and thanked him for his thoughtfulness while thinking of a polite way to tell him that if he thinks it is cold in here now... just wait until I put on this fleece get up.. I swear if I slept in the "get up" it would have to be 30 degrees in here for me just to be able to breathe during tha night. I examined the outfit and was so very Thankful that he stuck with the Large.. I was scared because we all know with my big belly.. I aint a fittin in a large now days.. But it made me feel good.. I thought he does think I am a grandma but not a complete cow. It is the small things....

I thanked Jason over and over again for his thoughtful gift and never let on for one second that it just wasnt for me. Luckily, I did explain to him that fleece for me is not the best idea because I am hot all the time. He agreed with me.Which he didnt have much of a choice to agree with me since the night before he asked me if I would mind sleeping on the screened in porch.Because I just kept it too cold for him. Jason gave me the receipt and I said there is only one item on the list but you bought me two.. The Pj's and the robe? Did they come together? Did you buy them at different stores?? He said, "Oh, yeah, it was buy one get one free!". Okay with that statement I didnt feel like such a mean old hag.. I felt with that one statement alone it gave me permission to take it back and not feel bad! I made such a big deal out of his thoughtfulness and he hit the sale at the local K Mart on Christmas Eve for Buy one get one Free Sale on Grandma Pj's! I will get him next year! The picture truly does not give the "get up" the credit it deserves. This is my blog of the day... With Love, Bamaslammer

Farwell My Friend... Thanks for being there!

My dear beloved cat BayLee has vanished into thin area. He has been gone since 12/7. Jason came home late one night and BayLee was asleep beside me. That is the last I saw my friend. I do remember waking up twice in the middle of the night and BayLee was no longer beside me. I had this unusual nagging feeling to go check on BayLee to see where he is at because he rarely leaves my side. I didnt follow my intuition and continued to sleep until it was time to go to work. I will forever regret that decision. I came to find out later that BayLee had escaped out of the garage when Jason came home. According to Jason's account of the story, BayLee ran across the street and never looked back. Jason and I have looked and looked for him. We have covered the area where we live, hung up signs, fliers on mailboxes, ads on craigslist/newspaper, and many visits to the vets and Humane Society. We have not had any luck. We have had a very close call but it ended up being a cat with many mannerism like BayLee but it wasnt him. No matter how much I wanted it to be him... it wasnt.. it hurt..

When we moved BayLee became unglued. This is not BayLee's first move. He has had other moves before. Possibly due to his advancing age he just didnt like it at all. He had a complete personality change. He has never been one to cause damage or break things but when we moved he decided to let loose. At the end of the day, we really didnt care we still loved him the same. BayLee was more like a dog than a cat he truly loved you back and most cats are not that way. When I would come home from those long trips from Alabama, he would be waiting in the window for me.When I first brought him home I had a dog and BayLee would snuggle up to the dog and look up at him like he was saying "Are you my mother?" The dog didnt like it too much but he adapted to BayLee. Since I adopted BayLee I have felt like he took care of me more than I took care of him. If someone was at the door he growled at them like a dog would. You just were not going to get past BayLee and to me if your intentions were not good. At times, Jason and I would argue like most couples, BayLee was right in between us like he was there to protect and add his two cents. BayLee wasnt afraid of anything or anybody he was ready to fight whenever he felt it was needed. One of my fondest memories is when my nephews had a bowling kit and everytime they would roll the ball towards the pins out came BayLee to assist in knocking the pens over. BayLee is helpful that way.... :)

I dont know what happened to BayLee. I have many theories. To be honest the theory I believe the most is that he is no longer on this earth. There are many wooded areas around here and wildlife so it is possible. Someone brought to my attention that maybe he was sick and went off to die. With the move BayLee became so irritable and his behavior was so odd he just wasnt himself.Another theory is that Jason be lives is that one of the neighbors is holding him hostage. I laughed and said they will not hold him long he is so bad.

I am learning to accept it... To animal lovers everywhere you know exactly what I am talking about. The hurt you feel and the mourning you must do is very similar to losing a very close human friend. I adore my little scrappy devil and I miss him terribly every minute of the day. We will continue to search for him but we know he may never be back and we must not dwell on the loss.

The only thing that seems to have brought me comfort is that while my father was in the hospital I read many books from the hospital bookstore. One book I read was about cats and it discussed how animals come to us in our time of need. The lady discussed how a cat come to her and adopted her when she needed the cat. The cat later disappeared and she couldnt find the cat. A couple of years later she found out that the cat had moved in when a child two doors down who was suffering from cancer. She explained that the cat was there for her when she needed him but moved on to someone who needed him more. I am going to dig out that book if I still have it and read it again. I have always believed if you rescue an animal they will rescue you right back over and over again. That is exactly what BayLee did for me. BayLee might feel that I can stand on my own and his services and love are no longer needed and he has served his time.. But BayLee couldnt be more wrong I still need him. I mean who is going to help me raise this baby!