dark days....

I still have those dark days even though my father passed away 3 years ago. I still feel the pain of his loss. Anyone that has ever lost a parent completely gets this. I think that is why, Mr. Wonderful and I get along famously. He lost his mom to cancer and I lost my dad to diabetes.

Both of our parents endured extreme sickness and pain at the end of their lives.  We both watched our loved one die. I know that I feel as though I am blessed to have known he was dying and that he was ready to go to the other side.

At first, his death was a relief a very bitter-sweet moment. He no longer sufferers and he will be reunited with his mother, father, and brother whom he missed dearly.  But, the selfish me misses talking to him and his words of wisdom. I always pretended that I didn't listen to his words of wisdom. But I truly soaked up his advice and talks. There are days where I wish to hear his voice and watch him play with my daughter one more time. The problem with one more time is I would never want that one more time to end.

I think that is what makes me the saddest my daughter will never know the love of her grandfather. She will never know how tough he was on the outside but ohh so soft on the inside. She will never know the ability his children and grandchildren had to  make him laugh and make his heart melt.


I feel my dad's presence all the time and will share some of the stories at a later date. I see him and other passed away relatives in my dreams which brings a sense of comfort to me.  I am sure in my dreams they are giving me advice. The question is am  I listening this time to the advice or am I waiting to mess up and then take their advice? Is advice better coming from you now that you are dead? Okay that is a joke... Sort of a joke...a very bad joke....

Stay tuned for a weird story or two.... This is my blog of the day.
With love, bamaslammer

Introducing Mr. Wonderful.......

Yes, I am dating Mr. Wonderful......
Yes, I am a lucky lady.......

No, It's not Matt Dillon from one of the greatest movies ever, Mr. Wonderful.
My Mr. Wonderful is better than Matt Dillon any day of the week.

TOP 10 Reasons why I like Mr. Wonderful
TOP 10 Reasons he will dump me sooner or later....

10. He  remembers the exact day we started talking and our first date.
     He quizzes me on this and my response "somewhere around Veteran's Day" Big Fat F for me

9. He is very cold natured. He sleeps in fleece-head to toe.
    I am extremely hot natured.  Let's say, I dont sleep in fleece- :)  ..
    He probably likes that I dont sleep in fleece.... :) A++++++++++ for me

8. He rises early and makes or buys breakfast.
    I'm  still whining about having to crawl out of bed. Big Fat F for me

7. He is a patient man, obviously.....
    I'm  patient with my students not so much with adults I'm dating. Big Fat F for me

6. He listens to NPR
   NPR is that the local Hip/Hop or Country Music Station. Big Fat F for me

5. He is planning to hang a picture of some jazz dude over his bed.
    Umm... no...A++++  for me ( you should hear what I want to replace it with) :)

4. He is a phone caller.
    I am a texter. A++++ for me (I like his phone calls)

3. He doesn't curse or say dirty things.
     I curse  and say lots of dirty things..
    He doesn't like that I curse BUT he loves that I say dirty things...... :) A++++++++++ for me

2.  He is a listener.
     I'm a talker.
     I cant believe he listens to the junk I have to say....
    No One listens to ALL the junk Ive gotta say. (Poor Guy)

1. He is supportive.
    I have wild Crazy Dreams and he doesn't laugh when I share them with him. :) 
Instead, he says...."YOU can do it", "YOU are talented".... "Let's Do It"....A+++++ for me... :)

There are so many more reasons...  This post will be continued..


This is my blog of the day...With Love, Bamaslammer....

    

tea party?

Baby bamaslammer is planning a tea party for her birthday. This is what she has constructed so far.....

 She is so proud of herself! She keeps giving me minute by minute updates of her progress with her tea party set up. I'm not much of a "dream squashier"

 But....can I allow her and her best friend to sit on a dirty porch and a dirty towel and drink tea? I dont think I can sit back and allow her and her BFF to get some disease from the dirty porch..

I am developing  some plans.....

Plan A

A big storm came in the night and some how blew everything over on the screened in porch.

Plan B
Those sneaky raccoons that get into the garbage  must have broken into the screened in porch and had a party  with your stuffed animals.

Plan C
Baylee the cat, who is blamed for absolutely everything that goes wrong in the house, is up to no good again and destroyed the tea party set up.

Whichever option I select this allows me to take over the tea party set up. Hey, nothing is wrong with a "helpful" white lie.. I'm gonna take the chance to make things  "beautiful" before she discovers her mother is a  "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire....."

Stay tuned for a beautification plan....

This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

Hey Internet.... Your the biggest B+++h I know!

I have a love-hate relationship with online quizzes. Basically, I love to take them because the quizzes are fun to take. I hate them because they always say I'm a big ole' b+++h. OK...maybe not like.."Bamaslammer... You are a b++++h" but they might as well.....

They lure you in by saying "Which Disney Princess are you?" innocent enough.... So you think....

Until you read this......

 

Thanks Internet.....

I wanted to be Cinderella!!!!!!! 

On to the next results....It will have to better....

"Which Golden Girl are you?" Innocent enough......

Until you read this...

You are Sophia. Wit and quick comebacks are two of your strengths. You think on your feet and sometimes can shock people with your truthful insights. Yes, you can be very honest with people, but this does not mean you do not care about their feelings. It is quite the opposite- you care very much about the people close to you and try to shield them from pain. You may be outspoken, but nobody could ask for a better friend!

This is me.....in a few years....

 

Hey Internet.... YOU are the biggest bitch I know... I've gotta quiz for you!!!!
Let's see how you rate? I bet you will rate as a bigger b+++h than me.

 Go suck it Internet!
This is my blog of the day. With love, bamaslammer








 

girls....

   I am steadily approaching 40 and it scares me.  I try to stay somewhat "in touch" with the younger generation.  By checking out their music, trends, and the occasional TV shows.   I had free HBO this past weekend and thought I would check out what the kids are watching. This show "girls" is an HBO series that  won awards and is a break out hit.  


Below is a summary of the show-

HBO summary. Aspiring writer Hannah gets a shock when her parents visit from  and announce they will no longer financially support her as they have done since her graduation from Oberlin College two years before. Left to her own devices in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, she and her friends navigate their twenties.


My summary or what I like to call, the truth. The show "girls" is a show created by a bunch of rich kids whose parents finally told them to get a job..  This show throws in every social taboo it can possibly think of to get a reaction from its audience which has to be a bunch of teenage girls.  This is the only audience I can think of that would be remotely interested in watching this show.  This show showcases abortion, miscarriages, sexual harassment in the workplace, teenage marriage, every kind of sex you can think of and nudity. The main character also represents the special needs population but obviously she does so unintentionally (yes, that read exactly how I wanted it to read). I am all about some sex and foul language in my TV shows but I cannot stomach watching ugly people have sex. You know you feel the same way!!! Nothing...I mean nothing is worse than watching ugly people get it on.  I hurl!!  That makes me think of one of the many reasons I will never be swinger...have you noticed swingers are never attractive... NEVER....Its like on the application.. "You must be unattractive to be a swinger".....just an observation......

Each  leading female character is a daughter of a  wealthy mom or dad who is in the entertainment industry (documentation below). No one would hire the "girls" because they are not talented, creative, or attractive in the least bit. The girls decided, (insert your best rich girl accent and twirl your hair) "Ive gotta get a job so I thought I would write a screenplay my dad said he would hook us up and we can act in it and become famous."
 
.
IT FREAKING WORKED and I am FREAKING JEALOUS!!!!!!IT WORKED! Guess who is staring in a hit TV show, rich, and famous...... it would be..... these chicks..

girls....

..kill me now...another plan comes together for a rich kid!



girls....

I thought the show might be somewhat of a "Sex and the City" rip off. I thought HBO is looking for the same magic they had with the Sex and the City. If they are looking for the same magic ummmm......I hate to break it to you HBO but

 After watching 13 episodes. YES, 13... because ( a) I was hoping it would get better and I would see what the "magic" is ( b) it is a train wreck and I couldn't stop watching... episode after episode it continued to get worse which I didn't think was possible




I hate to break it to you HBO but this ain't it....... You need attaractive characters, cute hair, shoes, interesting story lines, and a Mr. Big.....
I'm glad the HBO was free..... This is my blog of the day. With love, bamaslammer


Supporting Documentation here--

Many of Dunham's co-stars are daughters of famous names in the entertainment and media industry. Jemima Kirke, a high school friend of Dunham who also appeared in Tiny Furniture, is the daughter of Simon Kirke, drummer of Free and Bad Company.^[24] Zosia Mamet is the daughter of playwright David Mamet and actress Lindsay Crouse, granddaughter of playwright Russel Crouse and great-granddaughter of writer and educator John Erskine. Allison Williams is the daughter of NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams.^[12]

Baby bamaslammer brought home a picture she drew at preschool. I noticed   the picture is labeled with "Mr. Luther King Jr." So I start asking questions...I knew it would get interesting.... Standby for a short essay on Martin Lurther King, Jr. as told by a soon to be five year old.

So baby bamaslammer..,,who is Martin Luther King, Jr?
Baby: he died!
Me: OK
Baby: yeah he got shot and died.
Me: OK, why did he get shot?
Baby: yeah, he wanted ppl to be nice to black ppl...
And................white ppl..........he wanted everyone to be nice to each other.....
And he got shot and died......
Me: What is he doing in the picture you drew?
Baby: he is standing in the rain holding a flower...he is a statue.....

Yes, he got shot and died. To her that is the most interesting part of the story. I think most five year olds would agree with her. The part she got is Mr. Martin Luther King Jr. wanted  us to be nice to each other. I will take that as a lesson learned today. I love to look at things through her eyes. It makes me think about how sweet and innocent she is and how life has not tarnished her, yet. I want her to stay little and sweet.

This is my blog of the day. With love, bamaslammer

Thank you for your service.

Mr. King, Jr,

Thank you for your service to our nation. Our nation continues to be a work in progress.  

This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

The Day for Lovers... :)

Valentines Day!

......or is it "single awareness day". Every year for many years Valentines Day has been single awareness day for me.. Even when I was in a relationship Valentines Day wasn't anything special it just reminded me of what a selfish jerk  (not bitter) I lived with and how lonely and unhappy I was and how much I needed to make a change.

I made a  change over four years ago and I have never looked back and I have never regretted moving forward with my life.  By letting go of what could have been, I found happiness.

 Over the years I have attempted to date.  The dates were about  as interesting as Obama Care.    I thought I was destined to live a life of raising my daughter and collecting cats.

Until.........This cutie came walking through my door......more about the cutie...later..stay tuned to future post..

Now the pressure sets in Valentines Day..Ive never had someone who actual cares about my happiness which makes me really care about his happiness.  I find myself googling, asking,  and over thinking what is appropriate or inappropriate ( :) ) gifts for a male on Valentines Day. Should I buy chocolate, wine,  lingerie, handcuffs  :), or a magazine subscription???  too much???

This is a wonderful "problem" to have and I am thankful for this problem.

 This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

Humpty Dumpty Sat On a Wall...

At my daughter's school each week the school  has a theme of learning. A few weeks ago the theme of learning was "Nursery Rhymes".  I knew "Nursery Rhyme" week would provide me with lots of laughs. My daughter already sings to the top of her lungs songs she makes up. This is my daughter's interpretation of Humpty Dumpty. Prepare to be wowed...

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall... (yes, he did.... good so far)
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...(yes, he did....good so far)
Humpty Dumpty broke his legs and his neck..( ummm.. don't quiet remember this...Neck???)
AND...........

HE LIVED...

This is my daughter's interpretation of Humpty Dumpty. I am proud that Humpty lived.  If this was me retelling Humpty Dumpty he would have not lived. I would  have said his Mom told him not to climb on the wall. He disobeyed and his mom and  fell off the wall and died. I am proud she has not inherited my dark sense of humor and is not completely damaged from me as her mom.

This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer.

Learning to live again is killing me....

Really  killing me......I am trying to get my feet wet and possibly start dating again. I forgot what a pain in the ass it is to date. I miss the comfort of a relationship i.e. NO SPANX. 

Yes, Spanx was my best friend after having my daughter. I will never forget trying to put on a Spanx a month after I had my baby. I had a lunch date with some friends of mine who wanted to see my baby. I wanted to pretend that I was 60 lbs less than I was at that time. I guess I thought Spanx would magically take off all 60 lbs.  I remember vividly laying on the bed trying to get that Spanx on. What a freakin' workout. I was bending my body in ways I don't think it has been bent before including my young, fun, single days.  I also remember sweating like I had entered hell. Maybe that is what hell is all the "fun" women are trying to put on a dang Spanx.

Well, I made it to my lunch date 30 minutes late with my Spanx on and my baby in carrier in hand.  I learned a valuable lesson that day. If you are planning to wear a Spanx give yourself time to put on the Spanx and fix your make up after sweating it off from trying to pull up that freakin' Spanx.

Young girls take note. This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

Funny Facebook Post of the Week

My friend, Chris from high school, Is hands down the greatest Facebook Post writer ever.... I will be sharing his post with you because he and his post are Awesome. I do get mad that I didn't think of the post myself....

 Chris's Post----"Just farted in my cats face now Sarah McLachlan is singing outside my bedroom window".

Thank you, Chris !!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my blog of the day! With Love, Bamaslammer

TMI..Maybe?

I love to read funny things on Facebook.. Sometimes I am really surprised by what people post or say... This is a guy I sort of  know. We went to high school together. We have some friends in common. That is about it. I think he is nice and has a good sense of humor. He was instant messaging me one day and he tells me this... Did I mention... I "think" we went to high school together. We've never had a  real conversation...

 My facebook friend says-----"I'm Really getting out there and meeting people. Feel kinda slutty sometimes. Different dates every week. But i seem to have a short attention Span".

Is it wrong that it completly grossed me out..
This will be a new feature of my blog
I thought it was funny... This is my blog of the day, With Love, Bamaslammer.

Teresa, Teresa, Teresa......

Teresa, Teresa, Teresa... she is taking the drama thing just a little to far. Don't you think? The best part is they all, the other people on the show take her seriously.  I really think I need to call Melissa and Jacquelin and advise them.  They could use a friend or two about now.

One thing about being a special education teacher is you learn a few tricks along away. One of those tricks is to not engage with the "bully". If you don't fight back they move on to another person. A "bully" is always looking for a fight.

Hopefully,  Teresa will move on from the ladies on the show and call out her cheating, lying, and abusive husband. Now- that is a show I would watch if she actually grew a pair and said, "I know you cheat on me, I know I married a loser, and you are ugly as sin." I wish that would happen I would be so tuned in. But no, Teresa is a pretend tough girl. If you notice, she always takes the easy way out, by picking on her dumb caste mates who just don't know any better.

I know the housewives like to stir up drama  to guarantee a spot for the next season. I do think you can cause too much drama which leads to the viewing audience being so sick of you and  want you gone. I think this will happen to Teresa.  I think Andy Cohen the creator of the show will think long and hard before he signs Teresa up for another RHONJ. I don't enjoy watching her and her gross husband. I think we have learned more than enough about Teresa and her family.

The show I might tune into is Teresa getting real. Teresa telling the truth, moving out of the house they cant afford, her kids not acting like brats, and Teresa getting a divorce.

There was a time when I couldn't decide if Teresa was an evil genius or an idiot. I have it figured out now and she certainly isn't an evil genius.

This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

Funny Facebook Post

This is not from my friend Chris. This is from a guy that I don't know to well, but his post are funny...

His Post---I'm not sure if this church will ask us to come back. I sang with my fly open, then used the women's restroom.

 

Poor guy..ummm probably will not be invited back.. You scared the blue haired ladies on the front  row.

Better Luck Next Time.

 

This is my blog of the day! With Love, Bamaslammer.

 

Malala Yousafzai-A 14 year old Hero

 14 year old American kids are concerned about I pads, cell phones, and x boxes.

This  14 year old girl just wants to go to school she doesn't care about an I pad, cell phone, or an x box.

How lucky we are to be born in the USA and have the opportunities that we have available to us.

This 14 year old  girl just wants to go to school so she might can have an opportunity.

When I go to sleep at night I feel safe.

This  14 year old girl never feels safe and never will feel safe.

I can speak up for my rights and the rights of others.

This 14 year old  girl was shot on the bus going to school.

Please check her story out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malala_Yousafzai

Did I mention she is just 14 years old? What were you doing at 14? I know I wasn't doing what she is doing that is for sure.. I was picking out my clothes for school and trying to figure out a way to stay home.

The  American news media has not covered this story much. They are to busy covering stories relating to inappropriate acts of teachers. Which are few and far between.

This is my blog of the day! With Love, Bamaslammer

Some Random Rich Dude Just Put Me In His Will.....

Is there one true love in life or are there several true loves in a lifetime?  This is the question of the day.

I know people who met in high school and fall madly in love and spend their lives together. I know people who marry and divorce and find their loves later in life.  I know people who loved their spouse and are widowed who find love again.   They happily spend their lives together. I also know people who never seem to find the person they were meant to be with and  are in one tragic relationship after another.

Ive loved and lost and loved and lost.  Heartache isn't an easy thing to go through regardless of your age.

My first love was my college boyfriend. We became great friends and fell in love slowly. I cant say a bad word about him. I still have fond memories of him and the love we shared.  He is a kind and gentle soul. Although our lives took a different turn we remain friends. He is married with a gorgeous daughter.  I learned more from this relationship than I have from any other relationship in my life.

My second love is my daughter's father. I think the only reason I consider him a love is because of the daughter he gave me. She is truly the love of my life.

Fill in the blank.

The third love of my life is__________.(a blogger, Bradley Cooper, some random rich dude that is 90 years old,  or some random rich dude who has just put me in his will).

This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

Is your leg still there?

My daughter's classmate in her 3 year old class broke her leg. The student is recovering and will be back to school on Monday.  One morning, I was getting ready for work and my daughter said, "Mom I need to tell you a little story, Megan was riding her bike outside and she fell. She had to go to the hospital and get a cast because she broke her leg. In a few weeks, Megan will go back to the doctor and get her cast off and see if her leg is still there."....umm.. I didn't correct her. I thought she could wait until Megan's cast is removed to see if Megan's leg is still there. Life has very few surprises. This is my blog of the day! With Love, Bamaslammer

I Gotta Fever..

This is just a Friday quick post. I love to tell stories about my students. They say things that just make me laugh. In teaching, you have to have a sense of humor or you would cry your eyes out or pull out all of your hair.

One of my students came into my room before school started the other day.  He had been absent the day before so I asked him if he had been sick. The child has asthma and when he gets sick  he has a harder time recovering than most people. I like the student a lot and I enjoy having conversations with him. So, I asked are you okay? I noticed your were absent yesterday. He said, yes I was really sick I had to go to the hospital because my asthma was so bad. I also had a fever. I said well I am glad you are back today and you are feeling better. He said, Ms. Bamaslammer, I was sooo sick and my fever was so high, it was a 198 degrees!  The only thing I said after he said  his fever was 198 degrees is I am glad you feel better and you lived.  I thought he could run that by his science teacher and the science teacher can correct him. I work more in the math department. This is my blog of the day,  With Love, Bamaslammer

Hey Lindsay and Lindsay's Momma-GET A JOB!

Yes, many of Lindsay and her Momma's problems could be solved by getting a J---O---B! Lindsay is supposedly employed as an actress these days and her mom is her momanager. Okay, that is about 75% of the problem and her insane father is the remaining part of the problem percentage.

Lindsay's latest acting gig is "Liz and Dick" a movie on Lifetime showing this Sunday. I will be watching. I think Lindsay is talented and could be as successful as she wanted to be back before all the wrecks, car chases, and wearing her friend's jeans with cocaine in them (still funny).

I know wearing your friend's cocaine laced jeans is quite common and we all get busted for possession every now and again. Lindsay-it happens to me all the time. I have learned to pat my friends down for wires and drugs before I go carting off in their pants or cars. To avoid the law officials, I suggest you do the same.

After college, I wanted nothing more than to continue my partying days, sleeping all day, and partying all night on my father's dime. I was blessed enough not to have an enabler much less a slew of enablers that were funded by me. I tried to play the I want to "look" for a job this summer and just kind of take it easy. I got told not enabled. My father said- if you don't get your butt home you will be living on the street. OHHH by the way we have you a job working for your cousin at a nursing home and you WILL start on Monday. That is how it works with a southern momma and daddy. The "finding" yourself is replaced with "finding" your broke butt a J--O---B and if you don't find a J-O-B we will find you a J-O-B and you ain't gonna like it!

Lindsay is surrounded by people mainly her mom who continue to say, "Lindsay-you are awesome! Can I have 40,000 bucks?,Lindsay-Nooo you don't have a drug problem, everyone loves you, you have plenty of job offers coming in." ummm... NO ONE was saying those things to me.. "Bamaslammer..you are gorgeous, smart,etc." NOO ONE.. That was replaced by "What day do you go to work?, When are you going to pay us back?".

Lindsay- I'm sorry your "fame" days have passed. We all experience our "glory" days being done and over because some younger, cuter, thinner, former version of ourselves comes along and steals our spotlight. This has happened to us all. That is when the "shit" gets real and we must grow up. I can so relate to you Lindsay, our fame has faded. But the difference is I was made to get real... This is my blog of the day, With Love, Bamaslammer

Hold Your Babies Tight....

One thing about a random blog like mine is I blog about what is on my mind. Most of the time my blog is light hearted. Today, not so much. I cant get that Jerry Sandusky creep off my mind. I am not posting a photo with his blog because it is just to much for me.

I work in education and I hear sad stories daily and I also watch the news more than any human being should. It is an inherited trait from my father. Growing up in my home, the news was on the television constantly and that is pretty much how it is at my house now.

It brings me to this question how do you protect your children from all the predators lurking and looking for a victim?

Jerry Sandusky he was found guilty by a jury. I can completely see how a single mother of a son can be lured in by Jerry Sandusky. He was a coach with a college football team. Jerry was a celebrity, a hero type, basically God like. From the outside, he looked as though he would be the perfect role model for a son without a father at home. Proven in the end, he committed unbelievable crimes towards children. The horror those victims suffered at his hands and the guilt the mothers feel is unimaginable. To know you sent your child into the lion's den. I cant imagine the trauma the victims and the parents live with daily. To beat it all the complete lack of a moral compass to blame everyone but himself for the victims pain. Yes, Jerry everyone in the world was involved with setting you up and sending your creepy self to jail... YES, EVERYONE, YOU CREEP!

People make fun of me all the time because I am so protected of my daughter. I do not allow anyone to keep her unless I fully trust them. I plan to be this way until she is older and can learn about "stranger-danger" and even with that I will still be overprotective. I realize when I gave birth to my daughter, I made a vow to love and protect and if protecting means you have to step through this "mean momma" first than so be it. That is just how it is going to be.

I can see how children are taken advantage of when people leave them with a random relative or a boyfriend. But what about those children who were walking to school, waiting on the bus, or just snatched out of the store. We try to teach our children to be polite and kind but I am to the point of teaching my daughter to never look at anyone when we are anywhere.

What about those children who have crimes committed to them in their own homes by someone who is suppose to love them. I pray nightly for protection over my daughter, my prayer is always "Please God Protect Her From Evil>". My father told me many many years ago if I didn't want children he understood. Because the world is just a dangerous place and children are really difficult to raise now. I so get what he was saying. He also said it is not really your child you worry about it is everyone else who could harm your child.

This is where I have a no-tolerance-old-fashioned-beat-down-southern-way-about-myself.... I wish for hanging, electric chair, death squad, and basically anything you can think of to punish the abuser.

This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer