I have started my letter to Oprah. I recently read that Ms. O makes 385 million bucks yearly from her TV show alone.. After I read that I decided to pen Ms. O a letter... I have started it but I welcome suggestions...
Dear Ms. O.,
I understand that you may have some cash you would like to "get rid" or "donate" before the tax man comes a knocking. I do, Ms. O. feel as though I am entitled to at least a million dollars of your money. Hear me out Ms. O, before you send someone to knock me off..I do have a fear of you and the Scientologists. I have valid reasons of why I am entitled to this money. I am only going to list a few reasons and I think you will get the message.
6. Your Best Friend Gail- she is just always around, Ms. O... she needs a life and another friend.
5. Tommy jumping on your couch- Why didn't you join in???
4. Preston Bailey-that fru/fru guy who caters/decorates for your parties He just bothers me no real reason I am sure is a nice person
3. Those lavish birthday parties you have for yourself you instruct everyone to wear black/white and you wear bright red. How tacky, Ms. O.
2. Rachael Ray- Now Ms. O., her perkiness drives me insane and I know she has to get on your nerves too!
1. Dr. Phil- YOU Ms. O are souly responsible for him and you must admit it! We the public have listened to enough of his his "downhome" advice for way to long now and it is all your fault.
Ms. O now that I have completed my list I really think the public deserves all your money!
I will wait for your response. With Love, Bamaslammer
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