What Kind of Outfit Is This????

..ahhhh..Thanks but no thanks.. or thanks and I will re gift to my grandma next year... Well, let's just return it because I dont even think my grandma would wear that...

Okay, I didnt really say that but I certainly thought it when I unwrapped that "get up". I know it is not that bad well it is that bad to me.. It was just all wrong.. I mean I live in south Georgia and it is hot as the devil down here and I am pregnant and therefore no heat is allowed to ever run in the house, ever!! Even if it is 30 degrees outside no heat! And dont even try to be sneaky about it because I will know quick and you will suffer...

Yes, I have been a dream to live with the past few months. Honestly, I havent been to terrible except for the last couple of weeks and anything revolving around the heat makes me more miserable. The words that I say I cant really believe come out of my mouth.. I am just so miserable and hot all the time. Most of you have read that saying and I cant remember exactly how it goes.. But it is something to the effect "She is awake and the devil is scared".. Well I am the "She"... I just cant help it.. I have tried to be nice and not start my day grouchy. But Trust me it has not been easy..

Everyone is at risk when it comes to my grouchiness. No matter who you are.. I have wanted to grab the folks at the gyno. office by the throat so many times you wouldnt believe. But I have to see them twice a week and my baby has not been delivered yet. So I certainly want to hold off my ugly comments until a later date. It is so hard...

Back to the lovely "get up"..I am thankful Jason thought of me at Christmas time. We had planned not to buy gifts for one another. We are planning on putting our money together and purchasing a video camera and that will be our Christmas gift to one another. But Jason kindly went out (on Christmas Eve) and bought me those sexy PJ's and a even sexier robe pictured above. He wrapped them all by himself and was so proud of his purchase. I opened the packaged and thanked him for his thoughtfulness while thinking of a polite way to tell him that if he thinks it is cold in here now... just wait until I put on this fleece get up.. I swear if I slept in the "get up" it would have to be 30 degrees in here for me just to be able to breathe during tha night. I examined the outfit and was so very Thankful that he stuck with the Large.. I was scared because we all know with my big belly.. I aint a fittin in a large now days.. But it made me feel good.. I thought he does think I am a grandma but not a complete cow. It is the small things....

I thanked Jason over and over again for his thoughtful gift and never let on for one second that it just wasnt for me. Luckily, I did explain to him that fleece for me is not the best idea because I am hot all the time. He agreed with me.Which he didnt have much of a choice to agree with me since the night before he asked me if I would mind sleeping on the screened in porch.Because I just kept it too cold for him. Jason gave me the receipt and I said there is only one item on the list but you bought me two.. The Pj's and the robe? Did they come together? Did you buy them at different stores?? He said, "Oh, yeah, it was buy one get one free!". Okay with that statement I didnt feel like such a mean old hag.. I felt with that one statement alone it gave me permission to take it back and not feel bad! I made such a big deal out of his thoughtfulness and he hit the sale at the local K Mart on Christmas Eve for Buy one get one Free Sale on Grandma Pj's! I will get him next year! The picture truly does not give the "get up" the credit it deserves. This is my blog of the day... With Love, Bamaslammer

Farwell My Friend... Thanks for being there!

My dear beloved cat BayLee has vanished into thin area. He has been gone since 12/7. Jason came home late one night and BayLee was asleep beside me. That is the last I saw my friend. I do remember waking up twice in the middle of the night and BayLee was no longer beside me. I had this unusual nagging feeling to go check on BayLee to see where he is at because he rarely leaves my side. I didnt follow my intuition and continued to sleep until it was time to go to work. I will forever regret that decision. I came to find out later that BayLee had escaped out of the garage when Jason came home. According to Jason's account of the story, BayLee ran across the street and never looked back. Jason and I have looked and looked for him. We have covered the area where we live, hung up signs, fliers on mailboxes, ads on craigslist/newspaper, and many visits to the vets and Humane Society. We have not had any luck. We have had a very close call but it ended up being a cat with many mannerism like BayLee but it wasnt him. No matter how much I wanted it to be him... it wasnt.. it hurt..

When we moved BayLee became unglued. This is not BayLee's first move. He has had other moves before. Possibly due to his advancing age he just didnt like it at all. He had a complete personality change. He has never been one to cause damage or break things but when we moved he decided to let loose. At the end of the day, we really didnt care we still loved him the same. BayLee was more like a dog than a cat he truly loved you back and most cats are not that way. When I would come home from those long trips from Alabama, he would be waiting in the window for me.When I first brought him home I had a dog and BayLee would snuggle up to the dog and look up at him like he was saying "Are you my mother?" The dog didnt like it too much but he adapted to BayLee. Since I adopted BayLee I have felt like he took care of me more than I took care of him. If someone was at the door he growled at them like a dog would. You just were not going to get past BayLee and to me if your intentions were not good. At times, Jason and I would argue like most couples, BayLee was right in between us like he was there to protect and add his two cents. BayLee wasnt afraid of anything or anybody he was ready to fight whenever he felt it was needed. One of my fondest memories is when my nephews had a bowling kit and everytime they would roll the ball towards the pins out came BayLee to assist in knocking the pens over. BayLee is helpful that way.... :)

I dont know what happened to BayLee. I have many theories. To be honest the theory I believe the most is that he is no longer on this earth. There are many wooded areas around here and wildlife so it is possible. Someone brought to my attention that maybe he was sick and went off to die. With the move BayLee became so irritable and his behavior was so odd he just wasnt himself.Another theory is that Jason be lives is that one of the neighbors is holding him hostage. I laughed and said they will not hold him long he is so bad.

I am learning to accept it... To animal lovers everywhere you know exactly what I am talking about. The hurt you feel and the mourning you must do is very similar to losing a very close human friend. I adore my little scrappy devil and I miss him terribly every minute of the day. We will continue to search for him but we know he may never be back and we must not dwell on the loss.

The only thing that seems to have brought me comfort is that while my father was in the hospital I read many books from the hospital bookstore. One book I read was about cats and it discussed how animals come to us in our time of need. The lady discussed how a cat come to her and adopted her when she needed the cat. The cat later disappeared and she couldnt find the cat. A couple of years later she found out that the cat had moved in when a child two doors down who was suffering from cancer. She explained that the cat was there for her when she needed him but moved on to someone who needed him more. I am going to dig out that book if I still have it and read it again. I have always believed if you rescue an animal they will rescue you right back over and over again. That is exactly what BayLee did for me. BayLee might feel that I can stand on my own and his services and love are no longer needed and he has served his time.. But BayLee couldnt be more wrong I still need him. I mean who is going to help me raise this baby!

HOT MESS OF THE WEEK!

No matter how you feel about country music you cant deny this chick has talent. Miss Taylor Swift I do like her songs and I am blown away by the fact she is just 18 years old. She writes her own music and plays the guitar. Miss Taylor also has a charm about her. After watching the country music awards I have been paying closer attention to her and watching her interviews. She seems quite normal and very unaware of her true talent and the power she possesses with the number 1 album in the country. Taylor seems to be in the music industry because that is her love and not because of the celebrity and the money. Her parents deserve a round of applause for raising such a talented, charming, and grounded person.. So maybe her parents should be the "Hot Mess of the Week"... This is my blog of the day..With Love, Bamaslammer

So Much To Be THANKFUL FOR....

This Thanksgiving I had planned a dinner with my parents, Jason, and Jason's parents. I planned a whole day of cooking.,.. or lets just say a pick up time at the "Crackle Barrel".. The same as cooking to me. I called, I ordered, I paid, that is how we cook in my household....

Thanksgiving turned out to be a disaster... My parents couldn't come, Jason and I both were sick, Crackle Barrel's food I am sure is good but we couldn't taste it, and Jason's parents didnt want to catch the "funk" that we had...

So around 3 pm Jason and I sat at the table and had a few bites of the great Thanksgiving meal.. We sat there made small talk and I decided that no matter how bad we felt this Thanksgiving was nothing compared to our Thanksgiving last year and the many many people that do not have friends and families around.

Last year, I celebrated Thanksgiving and many other holidays in the hospital with my father. Some of those included Spring Break, Easter, Veterans Day, and we were planning of celebrating Christmas there as well. But... A miracle happened.

My father has severe diabetes and has been on the down turn for the last several years. Last year was the absolute worst year he has ever had. My father would be admitted to the hospital he would stay for at least a three week period of time and come home for about a week or two and be admitted again for another long period of time. He never got any better. It felt as if the doctors were buying time and I am sure they were. I remember in my prayers I would ask not for him to be healed because I felt his body had been over taken by disease but just time with him. Just time for him to feel better, to be able to walk again, and time for him to spend with his family. That is all I wanted. I know still a big request.

Many long days and nights were spent at that hospital just hoping things would improve. Many prayers went up to heaven. I know I could feel them all! Although my father suffered great pain and we the family suffered so many emotional ups and downs. I wouldnt trade it for anything. All that time in the hospital gave me time to bond with him and see him as a human being. It allowed me to see that life can really change in an instant and it allowed me to see that the suffering some people do is a lot worse than death.

The experience made me question doctors and nurses. It also made me realize how valuable bedside manner is but it is certainly not the most important thing. The experience also made me understand that when a Burch is determined to do something the word "no" means "oh..yes I will"..and "get out of my way because I will show you something or die trying!" I am just sorry that he had to go through what he did to allow me and many others to see how precious life is, family is, and friends are.

On a lighter note, he has not been hospitalized in one year! This is not the best picture of him. The picture was taken around March or April. He doesnt look like he feels his best. But it is the only one I have in my camera of him. This is my blog of the day..Withlove, Bamaslammer

Childbirth Class.....

...sucks... let me tell ya...

I could think of 1 million things I would rather be doing than attending a childbirth class..when I signed up I just didnt know any better... I am all hyped up on prenatal vitamins and hormones to know that childbirth class would be a complete downer and cause me to have nightmares.

Of course I called to register for the childbirth classes because a friend encouraged me to do so. The class was full in November and December but the instructor graciously let me in the class. My friend told me how helpful the course was and how much the class made her feel at ease..yes, I took the bait... Throughout my pregnancy I have taken the approach that the less I know the better off I am. In the beginning of my pregnancy I did read some of the books but they panicked me and I decided that if a problem occurred then I would then look it up or ask my doctor. Thankfully, my pregnancy has been pretty uneventful.

I took my friends advice and attended my first childbirth class on Tuesday. I was nervous about it but I felt as though the people in the class would be in the same boat as me so I didnt worry to much. .WRONG... first mistake...

They all seemed to a least know a baby.. I dont really even know any babies, anymore and I certainly dont have a clue to what babies do daily much less having a baby. I am smart enough to sit in the back of the room by a girl who looked rather young. I thought I cant go wrong sitting beside her because I am sure I know more than she does just because I am old.. WRONG AGAIN...

The instructor asked us to go around the room and introduce ourselves you know the typical information name, doctor'name, and number of children, etc. I would assume if you are attending a childbirth class you are expecting your first child... WRONG AGAIN...

The first lady states I am _ and this will be my fourth child! The panic set in.. shouldnt she be teaching the class not taking the class... yep, show off she is.. She went on to say that well I go to the "ROC" because one of us is older. Yeah one of us.. that would be her who is she fooling. I had to go to the "ROC" myself for testing because one of us is older also...:) noo, not because one of us is older.. Jason is older but I am 34 and that takes on a whole new meaning when having babies. I didnt know that until the "ROC" people kept asking me my age over and over again.. The "show off" went on to say "you know they send you there after the age of 25".. No, who are you trying to fool... That was the only part that made me feel better about the class. Is that the "show off" was paranoid about her age. And I was not the oldest chick in the class like I thought I would be..

After all the introductions were complete the instructor passed out a term sheet and a quiz. Jason and I got one right on our quiz well Jason did. Jason gave me the answer and I got to yell it out like I knew something. The instructor then asked how many of us had a "birth plan"... The young chick beside me raised her hand.. I felt betrayed I sat beside her because I didnt think she would know a thing. It turned out she knew most of the answers on her quiz and had a "birth plan". WRONG AGAIN

By this time the class takes a tour of the maternity floor. I take the tour and listen to all of their questions and the instructor's feedback. I realize that I know less than what I thought I did and it scared me even more. The first hour of the class I think I said maybe five words to Jason the second hour I didnt talk at all. I know, you know I was traumatized if I didnt have anything to say. All the color drained from my face and I was doing all I could do not to cry in front of the other childbirth class participates.

The anxiety was just rushing through me. Finally the class was dismissed and Jason and I are walking to the car. Jason keeps taking and talking. The first part of the conversation all I hear is blah.. blah... blah.. and then all the sudden he says.. "Do you realize that this is a level one treatment center? and if something happens to the baby they are not going to know what they are doing?" I dont think he realized what he said...obviously.... . he continued on and on and on. I couldn't say a word the tears started flowing and I couldn't hide the fact that I was terrified. I finally turned to him and said "Just Shut up" "Just Shut Up"! and those of you that know me know that I used many colorful words during my rage towards him. I am sure all of those people in the class behind us got their ears full and cant wait to see what happens next week when we return to the class. This is my blog of the day... Love, Bamaslammer

Sweet Home Alabama..where the sky is always blue...

The Country Music Awards.. I watched some of it but not all of it. I am waiting on the repeat on the Country Music Video Channel. I missed the first hour and then I went to sleep. We have that DVR thing on the TV I know how to record but I am not real sure how to find it after I record it. That is what my Christmas break will be about is figuring out how to work the TV. What I did see of the awards was great! I did get to see my main man "King George". For you non George lovers... "King George" is George Strait. I like calling him "King George" just something about it.. Maybe because he seems like a really nice humble person and would be embarrassed about it and I like to embarrass folks. I really think that is why. I love the ole'king and I am not sure why or when this love started. To tell you the truth I wish it would have started in college when I would have a couple of drinks and karaoke and completely humiliate myself. I think King George's songs would have been the best karaoke songs especially for the fine establishments my college friends and I hung out in. I know it would have been a real crowd pleaser. Especially how I am sure most of the crowd could easily relate to all the songs King George sings. All of them seem to be about someone leaving him and I might add he has had the same wife about all of his life. I still think that is the most amazing accomplishment anyone could ever achieve. So it is obvious King George doesnt write his own songs and that his songs are certainly not based upon life experience. I have the CD that he won for Album of the year and it is good of course but I do think you must be a true George Strait fan to appreciate it which I am and I do.

Here is my "beef" with the Country Music Awards.. You had to know that I had one even though I technically watched the show for about an hour. Kid Rock using "Sweet Home Alabama" in his song... Yes, it really is a tough one to hear.. I am Alabama Born and Breed and I love that great state. But someone from Detroit using Sweet Home Alabama... bothers the devil out of me. Yes, I know that Lynard Sknyard is from Jacksonville, Florida who wrote and performed the song. But somehow that is different to me. Maybe because they actually spent time in Alabama. After I watch "Kid Rock" who always does an awesome job and who seems like a real person, I planned the next day to email the governor's office in Alabama and let him know that the song "Sweet Home Alabama" should be the state's anthem and should be protected under the law. The only people that should be allowed to sing the song are people who are from the state of Alabama or who have spent time there, coverbands playing at colleges where people from Alabama attend, and of course one of the original members of Lynard Skynard , and even fellow Alabamians who are out karaoking.

I have really thought about who should sing the song instead of "Kid Rock". I came up with very few options. Of course the first one that came to mind is the hometown folks the group "Alabama" but they are all getting up in age and do not have the spunk for it. Of Course, Hank Williams jr.. but he is also getting up in age but he certainly fits the criteria. He lived in Troy, Alabama my senior year in college.

Well, I only came up with two and I am not comfortable with either person or group singing the Alabama state anthem. I think I will just have to let go of my dream of only Alabamians singing the song and allow Kid Rock to continue with the song. At least it allows Northerners to know how really wonderful Alabama is.Plus I am afraid some Texan will write the governor of Texas and not allow anyone to sing the George Strait song "All my Exes Live in Texas".. just a random thought... This is my blog of the day, With Love, Bamaslammer

Free cat to a good home..

yep, you read it here first.. I am kidding but my beloved cat, BayLee, is about to put me in an early grave. Maybe it is hormones but my lord is he ever working the last nerve. I think Jason forgot to give him his nightly dose of Prozac and he has been a wild man since about 1:30 this morning. I have just twisted my ankle in the kitchen because I tripped over him. He refuses to get out of the way and I cant see him over my stomach. I think I am going to have him visit some homeless cats and let him know how his life could have been if he hadnt been rescued from a gas station. I am sure when he snuggles with me and my twisted ankle I will forget all about wanting to give him away, well maybe. This is my blog of the day.. With Love, Bamaslammer

Kim's WEAVE is the HOT MESS of the Week!

Yes, you read it here correctly.. not Kim but her weave.. The weave that needs our praise is the blonde one.. positioned on the head of the wannabe country music star..

Okay I admit I Love my BRAVO TV station.. that is basically all I watch well besides the News, Nancy Grace, and the E! channel.. Basically anything tabloid or pretend reality I LOVE... Back to my point. I watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yes, it is a dumb show and as I watch it I feel my IQ points going down the toilet.. But anyway I cant get enough of this Kim chick's weave and I feel as though it needs it's own reality show.. seriously the weave is pulling out overtime on Kim's head. What really cracks me up about the show is the women are so catty and they seem to call out everyone about anything... BUT not a word has been mentioned about Kim's busted wig/weave.. I mean do they really think the public thinks that is her real hair... come on... people.. I think I am going to send an email to the producers of the show and just say... If this chick is so rich why is she wearing a busted weave.. time for the weave to retire.. trust me from the looks of Kim.. the weave has served it's prison sentence and must be paroled... fast! I'm just sayin'.... This is my blog of the day! With Love, Bamaslammer

I'm BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am back online and have been for all of 5 minutes and boy am I glad. I have went without facebook and blogging for almost 1 month! Yes, 1 month! We have moved to be close to work and due to the baby coming and I felt that I had a million other things to do before I started back to my blogging... Oh how I have missed reading my friend Theia's website and checking in on my friends on facebook. The move has been a good move. We are in a bigger place and feel like we might have room for the baby now. I am enjoying being closer to work so far and I am feeling like I have more time in my day. Of course, I have been going back and checking in on the stray cats I had to leave behind. My sweet little neighbor is feeding them but it is still a tender topic for me to discuss and if you want to see tears roll down my face just mention the duo I had to leave behind.

The Internet installers just left and in the process they already made my elderly neighbor mad. Yep, Jason and I always seem to win friends anytime we move I just dont know how we manage. The installer said that the neighbor just came out and fussed at him because the cords (whatever they are called) had to run through his yard. Had I known that to begin with I would have found another way if I could but I didnt know.. So I guess Jason and I are once again on the neighbor's hit list.

LayLa the cat has adjusted well to the move. BayLee has been a whole different story. He is traumatized. In the middle of the night I would wake up to him trying to starch the cabinets, clawing underneath the bathtub, and going at the carpet. After countless times of "redirecting" him, spraying him with water (which he liked), placing him in timeout and spanking him. He had his claws trimmed and went on Prozac. He has been better but you can certainly tell when the meds were given to him to early and are wearing off. He gets back into his old habits fast. For example, the other night I was making up the bed and BayLee came out of nowhere and latched both paws and claws into my behind along with his teeth! Yes, that is a typical day when BayLee's meds are worn off! I dearly love my sweet BayLee but there were some trying times. I am glad to report I think we are all going to make it. Well I will keep you updated on the neighbor part. If I go off line suddenly..I think he might have cut my cords.. which the cable people said is illegal... but I really dont think he cares to be honest... this is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

Can I legally change my Birthday to October 31st?

That is all I am asking. Instead of celebrating my birthday on July 12th can I change in to October 31st? I am not asking to change the year just the date. I do not think that is much to ask. It would make me very happy. My friend and old roommate's birthday is October 21st. She would have a Halloween Birthday cake every year! I have always been jealous of that I think it is so cool to have black cats, ghost, and tombstones on your cake. It just makes my face light up with joy to think about a cool birthday/Halloween cake.

See I have never been one to really celebrate my birthday. Growing up birthdays were never really a big deal. My birthday is in the summer and everyone always forgot my birthday. As a kid, it bothered me some but now as an adult it doesn't hurt my feelings at all. My best friend Adrian and I have that in common. Her birthday is July 17th and no one ever remembered her birthday either. It is funny at what bonds people in life. I don't remember exactly what brought Adrian and I together but I do know birthdays are one of the many many things that has kept our friendship going for... I dont know around 26 years.....

I am planning on writing a letter to explain my case but I am not sure what governmental agency to direct it too. I mean come on... people change names, social security numbers, and even their complete identities. Can I just change the date of my birthday?

If you know who I should direct my letter to please let me know.

HOT MESS OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!

This woman scares the "B-Jesus" out of me! Dont ask me where "B-Jesus" came from. I am thinking my old college roommate Michelle. She always uses great words I've never heard of like "Home Skillet". etc.. Back to this Hot Mess!

I love me some Nancy Grace. I am thinking, of getting a framed photo of her and hanging it the baby's nursery. But I dont know if it would inspire my child or cause her to have nightmares. I am still thinking on this.

Nancy in my opinion is what a southern woman is all about. She is funny, witty, stands for justice, and will put you in your place in a quick second. Dont mess with her! Nancy is someone you want on your side. She is certainly not someone you want as an enemy. She will take you down.

I am a dork. I watch some of her show nightly just to watch her interrupt people and tell those defense attorneys that their client is guilty no matter how they spin it. I absolutely love it when she rolls her eyes at her guest. I just want to to high five her.

I do laugh at the callers that call in. The calls always start with "Hello, Nancy. I just love looking at pictures of your twins they are so beautiful, I am so glad to get through to speak with you, Thanks for all you do for Victims". Nancy loves the compliment. You can tell it makes her whole day.

I am planning to visit the show one day or send in my picture for my birthday. She will say "Happy Birthday my friend from Georgia". I cant wait until that day comes. I am thinking about calling in today and ask for a signed autographed picture. I bet if I told the phone screeners my intentions with her photo I would get through and get to speak to Ms. Grace. Of course, I would start my conversation off with " I just love seeing pictures of you and the twins and thanks for all you do for victims".

My old neighbor friend Vera told me she called in everyday but could never get through. I think I might go over and see her one night and we will both give it a shot.

This is my blog of the day! With Love, Bamaslammer

Stacie got me pregnant..

I cant believe I am having a child.. I blame my friend Stacie for the pregnancy along with my Dr.

Ya see Stacie is a fitness queen. She is several years older than me but you would never know it. Stacie truly lives like her body is a temple. She exercises and eats right. She could beat any twenty year old in a race. I know people that know me are wondering what in the world we have in common. It certainly isn't the eating right or exercising that brought us together. We taught across the hall from one another for several years and it was by far the most fun I have ever had at a job. Our buddy Hampt was there also. I will introduce you to him at another time. I have lots of stories to share about Hampt i.e. How he saved my life,his obsession with Angelina Jolie, and my personal favorite "Free My Dogs"...

Stacie is the reason I am pregnant today. I have never blamed her or thanked her for being responsible for my pregnancy. So when she reads this she will be shocked! I cant wait! :)

Stacie is a quite, witty, responsible, and a reasonable person. She has many more outstanding qualities too many to name here. The one I value most is she is not judgemental. I know, again we are an odd combo.Stacie comes across as very quiet but when you get to know her she is so different. I think she is more outgoing than I have ever thought about being. She is always making new friends and planning for all of us to go out and eat or have a drink.

Okay.. back to the topic. To start the "Stacie got me pregnant journey".. The first step is that she introduced me to my doctor. Which you will hear how important the dr. has been in my life throughout my blog I am sure.

As I mentioned before Stacie is an exercise queen but she is not a pushy exercise queen. I admire Stacie and with her encouragement I trucked myself to a Pilates class. While at my first and only Pilates class I started having major pain. I made it through the class because I am not a quitter which is the only reason I made it.

The next day which was a Saturday I couldn't get out of bed. My pain continued throughout the weekend. Luckily, I had a dr.'s appointment on Monday already. I went to the dr.'s appointment with great pain and terrible fashion sense. I will never forget what I looked liked when I went into the dr. 's office. I had on Yoga pants, flip flops, unbrushed hair, no make up and the best part of my nice looking outfit is the Prince concert T-shirt that I had slept in the night before. I apologized to the dr. I said "normally I match my clothes and brush my hair". My dr. stated "Well, coming in her like that gains you more sympathy". :) I was examined and she decided I had endometriosis and would have surgery in 2 days. The surgery was successful and I didn't lose an ovary like we thought might happen. I recovered and moved on with my life. I never went to Pilates again because as I have told Stacie many many times "Pilates almost killed me one time.".. any excuse I can come up with I will use it to get out of exercise..:) I am pretty sure Stacie has caught on to all of my excuses.

My surgery happened in June 2007. Fast Forward to May 2008- I was back to thinking about going to exercise with Stacie again. Summer is here and she just joined a cool gym and she is taking a "Spinning Class". I went through a short lived exercise phase in Bama when I lived with my parents. I joined a gym and exercised daily and I took a spin class there which I enjoyed.

I decided to go to spin with Stacie one early Saturday morning and I enjoyed it. I had made plans to go again the next Saturday Morning at 8. Stacie and I had talked about it the night before and we planned on meeting at the gym. Well I was a no show.

School was out the day before and I spent 6 hours at Happy Hour with Hampt and the crew. Yes, that is not a typo 6 hours. So I wasnt feeling my best Saturday morning anyway. Sometime after the happy hour I told Jason that maybe I am pregnant. He panicked and went out and bought three pregnancy tests which I refused to take after the 6 hour Happy Hour. Which I feel is still a wise decision on my part.

After refusing to taking a pregnancy test the day before, I finally gained the courage to take it Saturday morning. No, Stacie I wasn't trying to get out of "spinning class". :) or maybe I was..

Needless to say we all know how those results came out. Stacie had called me Saturday morning but I didnt have the guts to answer the phone. I waited until later in the evening and I returned her call. Stacie started fussing at me a little bit she said "where were you this morning, you told me you were coming, we talked about it yesterday". It felt like she said that over and over again for 10 minutes which I know she didnt it just felt that way. Stacie finished giving me a tough time and she is patiently waiting on a response from me. I blurt out "I'm Pregnant". It felt like the phone dropped along with her mouth I am sure and after what felt like another 10 minutes of silence (which it wasnt). She said "Ohhhh.....MY........GOD!" I said " That is exactly what I said when All three test came back positive! I dont remember the conversation afterwards I draw a blank after I blurted out those words I thought I would never ever say.

Here is how Stacie got me pregnant.
1. She introduced me to a GREAT DR. who listens and cares and has a great sense of humor!
2. She encouraged me to go to Pilates for my back pain which brought my endometriosis front and center.
3. She wanted me to go to "Spinning Class" with her that Saturday Morning but to get out a "Spinning" class I decided to take a pregnancy test instead.:)

Thank you Stacie for being a good friend and Thank you for getting me Pregnant! :)
This is my blog of the day! Love, Bamaslammer

Dont Impress Me Much...

I watched most of the Debate between Mr. McCain and Osama oh.. I mean OBama... just a typo (but I am keeping it). I regret devoting anytime to watching the debate at all. I am a nosey person so I couldn't resist tuning in just to see what they both had to say.

To be honest, all I heard was blah, blah, blah, blah, "I will not raise your taxes", blah, blah,.. Between the blah's I would catch a phrase or two such as "All Americans need Health Care". What I really hear is "Bamaslammer -hey you pay your healthcare let's add on three more families to yours". Yes, people need healthcare I am in no mood to pay for other peoples and I absolutely do not believe in "Universal Healthcare". Anyone that has ever had a very sick family member understands why.

I also kept hearing "the Bailout".. How I have interrupted the "bailout" is that I must now pay higher taxes to save other people's houses who made bad deals. To solve all of these issues without raises taxes is an impossibility. As usual, the hardworking middle class will suffer the most.

I am not impressed with either of the gentlemen to be honest. I am not sure if it is burnout or I am just so sad at how we treat individuals who try to to do the right things in life, work hard, pay bills, and would do whatever they had to do to provide for their family. I am so tired of picking up the slack for individuals who do not want to do better or improve their life. Where is the fair and the justice? Why must I have less to pay for others dumb decisions ??

I dont know who should be President. I do know neither of them should be. I am planning on writing in someone.. any suggestions on who I should write in?

HOT MESS OF THE WEEK!

This is BayLee the cat. BayLee is my child and has been for about seven years. I dearly love him. He wakes me up in the morning and escorts me out the door to my car. When I come home he greets me in the parking lot and escorts me back inside the condo. BayLee fights off any type intruder that he feels might bring harm to the household. He is loyal. Since I found out I was pregnant BayLee has been right there with me gaining weight. I have gained about 15lbs and BayLee looks like he has also.BayLee use to hate my mom. He would bite, hiss, and growl at her but he pushed all his feelings aside and held up a white surrender flag at her last visit. I think there might be a future to their relationship. I have a story about BayLee vs. the Raccoon coming in another post. This is for all of our loyal companions. "Thank you for being a friend".."Traveling down the road and back again" "Your heart is true your a pal and a confidant".. I know Golden Girls Theme. I know cheesy but I just couldnt stop myself.... With Love, Bamaslammer

Kill My Landlord..Kill My Landlord.....Kill My Landlord

Janie- I aint a talkin' about you.... :)

This phrase is from Saturday Night Live back when it was good! I think I am going to have to go rent "The Best of Eddie Murphy".. All I remember is Eddie sitting on a stool reciting a poem about how he is going to "Kill My Landlord".. I know morbid.. but ohh so funny... It reminds me of an experience I had this past week..

...let me give you a little bit of background before I start my rant.. Jason and I are moving closer to work since we have a baby on the way. I, the fool that I am, assigned Jason the task to find us somewhere to live. I knew it would be a disaster. But being pregnant you will delegate things to others because you have enough to do and you are tired and overwhelmmed. I should have done it myself. Jason loves to put all of his eggs in one basket and when they all crack he wonders what went wrong. I am a girl who likes to plan and have options. Not Jason... how dare he have options and make a plan. Noooo, I think he enjoys the stress of everything going wrong and hearing me complain about it for months this situation he will hear about for years.

Back to the story... Jason has I went looking for places to live let me just say ONE place in a nice neighborhood with my future in laws one street over. I have decided that Jason is taking the reigns on this deal. He looks at a place and if it is something he thinks we are interested in he calls me and I come and look. That is what happened on Saturday. That is what happened when I met the landlords from hell.

The landlords are an older couple in their early 70's. They were nice enough but it was that "give us your money-sign here kinda nice". The first thing the lady said was " I know you hear that barking dog that dog will be gone today we own the place next door and we told them the dog has to go and it is going to Jacksonville". Okay I am an animal lover and I told the Man-Landlord-From Hell in the nicest way possible that I didnt want to hear anymore from him about the dog. He actually took a clue and dropped the subject. He took me on a tour of the place and continued running his mouth. The Man-Land-Lord-From Hell- asked me when my "coucment date is". okay... that is just gross I am not sure how to spell it. I spelled it like he said it. I think you get the jest of it. Why didnt he say "When is your baby due?" I guess that would have been too normal for him to say. He has earned himself two strikes but I move on...

As the Man-Land-Lord-From Hell is taking me for a tour he comments on the tub "two people can fit in the tub at once" and "two people can take a shower at once". After I talked to Jason about it he said the Man-Land-Lord-From-Hell said the same things to him. So gross coming from a nasty old man! three strikes and now I have added pervert to his name.

After the perverted tour is over we talk to the Perverted-Man-Land-Lord-From-Hell and the Woman-Land-Lord-From-Hell in the kitchen. Jason and I feel like we should be semi-honest and we tell the Prevented-Man-Land-Lord from Hell and the Woman-Land Lord-From-Hell that we have a cat. You would have thought I told them I had a tiger and five snakes that live with us. The Woman-Land-Lord ask "WHAT DOES THE CAT DO ALL DAY? JUST RUN AROUND LIKE HE OWNS THE PLACE!!??" Well I replied "He is fat/ old and he sleeps all day". I wish so much I could go back in time. I would have replied" I havent checked the cat's agenda lately but when I get home I will make sure I have him hammer out his schedule and we will give you a copy to place with our lease so you will know what he is doing at all times!" I know I am a smart mouth ...but I think a stupid question deserves a stupid answer. four strikes and now I have added crazy to the Lady-Land-Lord-From-Hell.

As you probably figured we pretty much decided about right then that it wasnt going to work out.. I wish I would have told her the truth.. I should have said " I have two indoor cats, two outdoor cats, and I have a family of four raccoons that I feed nightly and really want to bring them all with me to my new pad here in the country club". I think she would have fainted and I would have loved it!

Needless to say things were going downhill at an even faster rate.. The Crazy-Lady-Land-Lord informed us that she comes over to water the plants.. ahhh.. but there is an irrigation system why must she come over to water the plants?????..Ohh..I know why to look in the windows and spy and prowl thorough your things! Watering the plants..yeah right...Strike five

The next issue is that the Perverted-Land-Lord-From-Hell, asked " Why we had two different last names and if we were planning on getting married?". Which is illegal by the way. Yet, again I wish I could have went back in time. I wish I would have defended myself. I just replied in a wimpy manner "Maybe someday". The Perverted-Man-Land-Lord said "Well it is proven that individuals who live together are a higher credit risk." I let it go.. Why did I not defend myself?! I wish so much I could go back in time and say "This is how I have decided to live my life not be married". "This is a decision I have made and I stand by it firmly. I have nothing to be ashamed of and you will not make me feel as though I should be ashamed of my lifestyle" "I stand by how I live." If only I could go back. Needless to say I guess you figured out we didnt rent from him. I have his card and I am so tempted to call him and say the above things to him. With this being a small town I have decided against it and I will just vent on my blog and work on BayLee the cat's daily agenda with him so I will have it handy the next time I am asked what his schedule is. I will be prepared. ...With Love BamaSlammer

Answer me this......

Why has Ms. Spears been overlooked for the Nomination of Vice President??? Brit-Brit I would vote for you! Don't give up year 2012 is the year for you! This is my blog of the day.. With Love, Bamaslammer

Bill Clinton's speech was okay..

I enjoy looking at him more than I do hearing him speak.. I'm just sayin'

My best friend sent this to me today.

Subject: Definition of Hypocrisy,

I do believe the Democrats have suddenly developed a keen sense
of morality.


John Edwards has been banned from making a speech at the
Democratic National Convention for having an affair and lying about it.

Instead Bill Clinton will be speaking in his place!

Yet again, I am not a Democrat!!!! This does raise a valid point. But all I have to say is Bill Clinton is hott and that makes a difference in my vain small world... Just compare the two photos and I think you will agree... This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

Hot Mess of the Week!

Let me state I am not a Democrat! I Love Hillary Clinton!!! This woman just cracks me up! I love to watch her debate. She just puts people in their place and I admire that! I do not agree with some things Hillary says but I do think she is extremely smart and would dedicate herself to the Presidency had she been elected! I know I will be disowned by my Bama friends and family especially my dad. But he knows nothing of this blog so I will still get my inheritance unless he finds out!

I would have voted for Hillary! Yes, I said that out loud! I love her pantsuits, the way she carries herself, and that laugh of hers!. I think she would set a good example for us working modern women. She doesn't take crap off of anyone well except her husband but look at him! He is still so attractive. I cant fault her for "standing by her man". Look at him.. This is my blog of the day! With love, Bamaslammer

It is about time someone beats his a____

....If only she would have killed him....

It looks like former football star and not-quite-exonerated murderer O.J. Simpson got a little taste of his own domestic abuse medicine at the hands of his oldest daughter recently. Arnelle Simpson, 39, “went berserk” on her estranged dad during an argument over his treatment of Arnelle’s mother and O.J.’s first wife. The police were called by Arnelle herself after she shoved her father into a glass cupboard, which shattered, causing cuts on his head. So you remember the incident of when his Classy girlfriend "fell" down at a gas station and was in a coma!

THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER exclusively reports O.J. Simpson’s daughter went berserk, attacking both him and his girlfriend!

Cops sped to the home of the disgraced footballer and Naked Gun star on Aug. 24 after he was attacked by eldest daughter Arnelle, 39.

“He was cut on the back of his head, blood was coming out the side of his mouth and his lip was cut,” a source told THE ENQUIRER.

O.J. and Arnelle had a war of words about how her mom, Marquerite, O.J.’s first wife has to work at Walmart just to make ends meet because O.J. gives her no money — but does support current girlfriend Christie Prody.

As tension mounted, Arnelle lashed out at OJ for ditching Marquerite, his high school sweetheart, to marry Nicole Brown whom Simpson was later acquitted of charges of Nicole’s murder in 1994.

In a rage, Arnelle shoved O.J. violently into a glass cupboard in the kitchen.

“O.J. hit the cupboard hard and the glass shattered all over him. He fell to the floor, bleeding,” said the source.

Arnelle, in a moment of guilt, dialed 911 but panicking, hung up.

Despite that, police cars were dispatched to O.J.’s house in Kendall, Fla., near Miami, after the call was tracked to his address.

According to the police report, Simpson told cops he didn’t want to file assault charges against his own daughter.

I just wish the children he had with Nicole Brown Simpson would give him a good beat down. I havent read his book "If I did it" but I will when I find it for .50$ at the Unclaimmed Baggage.



[From The National Enquirer]

Sam are you my guardian angel? if so...

..I am planning a party and inviting the whole town and I would like you to organize it and start the bon fire...

For any of you that knew my friend Sam this would make perfect sense. I went to Troy University with a wonderful guy named Sam. Sam was a friend of mine. He wasn't my best friend or close friend but he was my friend. Sam and my roommate Rachel are cousins and were close friends. It is a funny story on how they figured out they were cousins. Rachel was working at the local Shoneys and Sam came in with a group of friends one night and low and behold they struck up a conversation and found out they are related. After that night, they became the best of friends. I can understand why- they both have very similar caring and funny personalities makes perfect sense to me!

Sam was built like a linebacker but had the heart of a Teddy Bear. Everyone knew him on Troy University Campus and everyone liked him. He lived at the "Trainers House". Sam and his roommates threw the best college parties! The whole campus was invited and most students attended. There was no party like a Trainer Party organized by Sam and his crew. His parties were legendary and I am sure still talked about to this day. They sorta remind me of the party on "Sixteen Candles" were Long Duck Dong is riding the bicycle with the chick with braces.

Like many wonderful people Sam was gone way before the world felt he should be. I think of Sam daily and I am not sure if it is because I live near the beach and it reminds me of the diving accident he was in that paralyzed him or Is he my guardian angel? If he is my guardian angel I am one lucky girl because Sam has that personality that would laugh at the twist and turns you take in life but he would finally move you in the right direction. But like I said there were many people that were closer to Sam than me. I imagine he is quite the popular guy when people are looking up to heaven asking for someone to look over them. He had a wealth of friends and good friends at that!

Sam's terrible diving accident happened our junior year of college. It was devastating to his close friends and family and anyone who knew him. But Sam didnt let it break him. With the support of his Wonderful family he chugged forward with his life and didnt feel sorry for himself. Sam enrolled back into school, his mom took a leave from her job and went to class with Sam and took notes. The only complaint I heard out of Sam is that he couldn't read his mom's handwriting.

Sam was an extremely athletic guy. I do not know of a sport the guy couldn't play. I took a weight training class with him and he carried me through the course. Being paralyzed from the neck down is heartbreaking to anyone but to be so athletic one day and not the next is just something I cant imagine.

Complications from Sam's injury took his life a couple of years later. Sam's mom became my hero when she took a leave of absence from her job to help her son to finish pursuing his dream of graduating from college. But Sam's mom took on A "God Like" status in my eyes when she gave the most inspiring and heartfelt eulogy I have ever heard. Through her grief, she stood before a huge crowd and told funny stories about raising Sam. The audience roared in laughter through their tears. I cant imagine the strenght it took for her to push her grief to the back of her mind and focus on the good times she had with Sam. I have only met his mom twice. But if I ran across her again I would tell her how much I admire her and that I plainly see where her son got his zest for life! I am sure she would not take any credit and she would say "this is what I had to do for my son" or something very similar.

I do believe we all have guardian angels and I want to believe that Sam is mine even though he might be busy guarding over other people. I also know that in my mind he was taken to soon. But I do feel that God might have needed a Party Planner in Heaven and he knew Sam would be the perfect choice. The thought of him party planning in Heaven brings me peace and makes me look forward to meeting up with him again. I have a feeling that he is multi-tasking in heaven. He is greeting you as you are standing at heaven's gate. Then when you receive the all clear he hands you a glass of wine and an invitation to the meet and greet held later that night after everyone gets checked in. That is how I want to visualize his life now. All the same planning, greeting, and inviting just in a different place. This is my blog of the day... With Love, Bamaslammer

Dwight and Conflict Resolution

This is from my very favorite episode of "The Office". I couldnt stop laughing while watching this episode. I advise everyone to see it it is called "Conflict Resolution"... This is my blog of the day, With Love, BamaSlammer

Hot Mess of the Week!

How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways.... Jeff Lewis from Bravos hit reality show."Flipping Out".. If you have not watched this show you certainly need too. I am in Love with this man if only he enjoyed the company of nice women instead of men. But hey I could change him. I first fell in Love with Jeff when he made a comment about how he felt his assistant needed a hug but he didnt know how to do that because he was never hugged when he was little and judging by Jeff's actions I find that to be true. I love his dark side he was playing with the daughter of a friend of his and he kept throwing the baby down saying "Bad Baby". The daughter would just giggle. But my true moment of love is when he asked his assistant to make sure his coffee was heated to 120 degrees or maybe I fell in love when he wanted his drink to be 75% lemonade, 15% Sprite, and 10% Water. I think that is when I fell in Love with Jeff Lewis. I could argue with him all day if only he would give me a chance... This is my blog of the day With Love, Bamaslammer

Sex Education

I am thinking now that I am pregnant I should have paid more attention in my sex education class. But to come to think about it we didnt have sex edu. We had AIDS education class and it was taught by what we thought at the time the biggest Pervert that lived (God rest his soul). Now I know bigger Perverts and he might not even be on the radar now. Let me take you back... See the picture of me and my classmates...

We were in 7th grade and we were made to take AIDS education. We already knew all about AIDs and maybe a little about Sex. My teacher could not say the word condon which is a word that is used quiet often in AIDS education class. He said "Con Dome". Just like that. He said it over and over again. "The boy must wear a "Con DOME". I could not concentrate. I laughed the whole time and while I was laughing my friend and neighbor Shawn tied my shoes laces to my desk legs. How did he do that you might ask?? I dont know... good question. All I know is that when the bell rang and class was over I couldnt get out of my desk. I tried to untie my laces it wasnt happening. Shawn who is the one responsible went to the teacher and asked to borrow his scissors. Shawn was gracious enough to cut my shoe laces from the desk legs and I proceeded with my day... Maybe that is why I am pregant because the boy did not wear a "con dome"... I know that was a sick sick joke! This is my blog of the day...With Love, BamaSlammer

Tropical Storm is on its way and it aint .....

..Brit Brit...
We will not be having school tomorrow due to the rain and high winds expected from the Tropical Storm. This very rarely happens but I plan to enjoy it as long as I have internet access. I was made fun of today for stating that in Bama where I am from we had "snow days". Yes, "Snow Days" my co-workers thought that was the funniest things they have ever heard! I said well yall need "Hurricane Days" here.Because we will just be making the days up and that truly sucks!

One thing I have noticed is people prepare a lot differently here in Florida than they do in Bama. I left work today and my main mission was to get Milk and Bread at the store cause that is how we prepare for snow in Bama. To my surprise very few people were at the grocery store! I didnt have to grab bread out of someone's buggy while they were not looking or wrestle someone to the ground for the last gallon of milk. Sorta defeated my purpose for going. I walked right in bought my milk,bread, sweet tea, cookies, chips..ect.. I think you get the idea. Because if my power goes out or I am blown in the street I better have my sour cream and onion chips in on hand and my sweet tea in another or it is a truly bad storm.

I dont have to watch the weather when a storm is coming. My cats provide me with all the information that I could ever need. They act insane when bad weather is coming. All four of them pile inside like it is their last day on earth. One of my cats I see once a month suddenly appears.

We are all ready for the Tropical Storm. I have on DVD my new favorite show "The Office". I bought some magazines, junk food and cat treats. So we are all good in the Burch household! This is my blog of the day. With Love, Bamaslammer

Dear Ms. O, Give Me Some Money!

I have started my letter to Oprah. I recently read that Ms. O makes 385 million bucks yearly from her TV show alone.. After I read that I decided to pen Ms. O a letter... I have started it but I welcome suggestions...

Dear Ms. O.,

I understand that you may have some cash you would like to "get rid" or "donate" before the tax man comes a knocking. I do, Ms. O. feel as though I am entitled to at least a million dollars of your money. Hear me out Ms. O, before you send someone to knock me off..I do have a fear of you and the Scientologists. I have valid reasons of why I am entitled to this money. I am only going to list a few reasons and I think you will get the message.

6. Your Best Friend Gail- she is just always around, Ms. O... she needs a life and another friend.
5. Tommy jumping on your couch- Why didn't you join in???
4. Preston Bailey-that fru/fru guy who caters/decorates for your parties He just bothers me no real reason I am sure is a nice person
3. Those lavish birthday parties you have for yourself you instruct everyone to wear black/white and you wear bright red. How tacky, Ms. O.
2. Rachael Ray- Now Ms. O., her perkiness drives me insane and I know she has to get on your nerves too!
1. Dr. Phil- YOU Ms. O are souly responsible for him and you must admit it! We the public have listened to enough of his his "downhome" advice for way to long now and it is all your fault.

Ms. O now that I have completed my list I really think the public deserves all your money!

I will wait for your response. With Love, Bamaslammer

Somewhere Down in Texas..

..if your looking for me, I will be drinking in that great wide open sunset and summer breeze. I will be kicking back with my family...Somewhere down in Texas.... George Strait

I Love Texas. I do not know why. I have never been to Texas. I only know two people who have lived in Texas. But for some reason I love that state. If I move again it would be to Texas to retire. I just imagine myself living on a ranch and sitting in a rocking chair on the back porch watching the sunset. I Love George Strait and plan to live next to him. I know he will be dead by the time I retire but I can pretend. I could bake him a cake on his birthday. My friend Christal her grandmother baked Elvis a cake every year on his Birthday even though he has been dead for many years! I use to think that was wacky but not anymore. I am not sure if that is a reflection on me and my mental state or I am what I like to call "openminded".

I have my move to Texas planned out the day after I retire I will have a yard sale and sell everything I own. Or I will burn it like Burnadette did in the movie "Waiting to Exhale". She just loaded up her exhusband's car and piled things in it and set it a blaze. I love that scene! I own that movie just because of that scene! Man Haten- Much, Me?? No, way! I have always been like this! I am sad though because I am too much of a hoarder to burn things but I just love the thought of it! After proofreading my post, I have decided I might need some therapy... I am a little dark, I know but I think my therapy for today will be watching "Waiting to Exhale" and watching the possessions of a no good man burn.. This is my blog of the day.. Love, Bama Slammer

"Kaytee" is her name.. NOT!

You would think after carrying a baby for 9 long months you would get to name the child. I know crazy right! I go through the long process of pregnancy and labor and my fiancee feels that he is entitled to name the child after his mother! Yes, you heard me after his mother, Kay! Dont get me wrong I dearly love the woman! I couldn't ask for anyone better! She is kind, loving, and would absolutely do anything for me. I had surgery last June and she came over and took care of me! Not many people would want to do that because I do not like pain, I whine, and I am a big ole baby myself.

One of the first things Jason said to me after I found out I was pregnant was "All I ask is that you name the baby if it is a girl after my mother". I only replied "that is a lot to ask". Not exactly the words I want to hear but I decided to not make a fuss about it right at that moment. I would make a fuss later when it really mattered! Yes, that was so hard to do but I did it. Basically, I just wasn't in the state of mind to argue.

So, I picked up the topic again the other day. I ran down my short list of names I actually like and he makes comments about them all, usually negative. I say a name I really like and he will say okay and say the name and then say Kay will be the baby's middle name. I finally could not let it go any longer. I explained to him that my mother is still alive and I think it would hurt her if we name my only child after his mother. I am a lot more dramatic than that, of course. I explain that it will force her into an early grave, the child will not receive Christmas presents from her, and we will be disowned etc... All to make my point.

Jason replies to me after my long speech which I thought I had proved my point and I thought he would move on to a name that I liked. Jason replies " How about the name Katie?" I said that is a very sweet name and I love it but my cousin's name is Katie. He insisted "Katie". I said well I will think about it.

The next day I am at work in a meeting day dreaming and I think "Katie" that is such a sweet name and I am so glad Jason is really thinking about a name. I am so glad he has moved on from his mother's name Kay.... yes, then it hit me. Jason has one upped me again. "Kaytee"... that is how he wants to spell it. yes... he got his Kay in there and I wasn't smart enough to figure it out!!!! That Devil! So, needless to say the great name debate continues in my house. I will have a post coming soon about my mom and her name picking... :) This is my blog of the day ! Love, BamaSlammer

Hot Mess of the Week!!!!!!!!!

I think there are people in the world that need to be acknowledged for their good work with charity, their snappy comments, or their over all Hotness! :) And that brings me to a new feature of my blog "Hot Mess of the Week"... Anderson Cooper two words that make me go weak in the knees. I have an unnatural obsession with him. I could stalk him if only he would answer my phone calls/letters and supply me with his address. I know must of you are thinking "Why? he doesn't even like women?" Which is probably true. A girl can dream cant they!

In the clip I have posted you will see him banter with Kelley Ripa and I agree with Kelley this time which is rare. I Love a man that can go to a War torn country and hang with the rebels and come home and discuss reality TV with his chicks! The clip of him calling out Dinah Lohan (the mother of Lindsay Lohan) is priceless! I also love a man who actually admits that he watches trash TV and admits it on national TV, no doubt. I am not much of a book reader but I read his and it is GREAT!

Watch for a good laugh! I am a new blogger and I do not know how to post the video yet to my website. If anyone has instructions you may want to send to me. This is my blog of the day.. love bamaslammer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2gfiAOLBOo
http://perezhilton.com/tv/?videoid=7ae1afb2bfe08

One Feisty Lady

My grandmother Olene is a piece of work, I tell ya. I am only saying this on my blog because she does not have Internet access. I would never say this in person and I hope my brother does not come across this blog and uses it as blackmail.

My grandmother was a women's libber before her time. When I became engaged she told me "you know you do not have to get married if you do not want too". Olene could give all of us modern women today a run for the money. I remember my grandmother cooking one time. She cooked me a sweet potato and I didn't like sweet potatoes but I sure wasn't going to tell her that!!! Olene use to love reading her tabloid magazines the trashier the better the Globe, The Star, and her favorite the Enquirer. When she finished reading them she would pass them on to my dad and then I would read them. I never read books growing up I read the tabloids! I knew all about Liz Taylor and her many husbands. Back then the Royals and Oprah were on the cover alot. At that time, I had a great Vocabulary I learned it all from the tabloids (mistress, Gary Hart etc). Olene knew all the gossip in the county and didn't mind calling people on the phone or inviting them over to share it. She loves the soap opera "The Young and the Restless" and she still watches it today because I can hear the TV when I pull up in the driveway to see her.

My grandmother worked. In the 70's and early 80's my dad was an accountant for a "Potato Gin". This is were workers went out into the field and dug up potatoes. The potatoes were brought back sorted and bagged. My grandmother "graded potatoes" that means she would sort the good and throw out the bad. I loved sitting with my grandmother on those hot Alabama days. grading potatoes and gossiping with her friends. I very rarely got to hang with her I was more interested in going to buy a coke in a bottle with my grandfather.


Olene never mixes her words if you want the truth ask her or she will volunteer it whether you like it or not. I have many examples of her truth telling. She has a picture of the whole family hanging up and she asked my mom with me sitting next to her "Who is fatter in that picture Shay or (unnamed relative)? " It didn't make me mad I thought it was pretty funny! This is the best example, My brother had recently remarried and he and his new wife went over to visit my grandmother. They brought her an 8x10 of their wedding picture. My brother asked her where to put the wedding picture. Olene replies, "You can put it on top of the TV if you think it is safe". Basically, she was saying in Olene terms, you are going to divorce in a couple of months and I do not want to go to the trouble of taking down the picture and putting up a new one. Okay.. if my husbands grandmother said that to me.. I would cry for days.. So my sister in law is a trooper that is for sure.

When my grandfather was alive my grandmother would keep him straight. She was always telling him how it is and how it is going to be so you better just do as she says. He learned life is much easier that way. I only heard him "talk back" to her one time and I do remember it like it was yesterday. Olene was chewing him out about something (of course I don't remember that part) and my grandfather raised his cane and said "Woman if you don't Shut up I am going to throw you out that window". I was stunned and was afraid that she was going to turn around grab his cane and beat him with it. She didn't she let it go which I know must have been so hard for her.

My grandmother is still the same today. She is in her late 80's and has an oxygen tank but that doesnt stop here. When I go see her it is like time has stood still. She is either watching the Young and the Restless, Family Feud, or the Price is Right. My Grandmother is also talking on the phone. When I arrive she hangs up the phone and gives me the low down of the town happenings. She will also tell me many stories from her childhood but I cant follow along because I do not know who she is talking about.

Olene also loves money! Do not go buying her a gift at Christmas! A gift certificate, maybe! But Cash makes her happy! I remember my dad bought her a washer and a dryer she insisted on repaying him. So, she went to her bedroom and came out with 1,000 dollars in cash!


My brother told Jason (whom I am engaged too) at a Christmas gathering to look at my grandmother, Olene, he said because that is who you will be married too in 50 years! I did not take offense I took it as a compliment! She is one feisty lady! this is my blog of the day, Love bama slammer

No duh -No Epidural for me!

I am pregnant with my first child and at this point my only child. Pregnancy has not been easy on me and I am woman enough to admit that. I think nine months is way to long for anyone to be pregnant. But at this point it is what it is. I am very lucky to have such supportive people in my life who have offered me great tips because I will tell you I don't know what I am doing. I quit reading all those books early on and looking up things on the Internet because it will scare you to death. You will also wonder why does anyone have children! geez and when I see a bad kid I personally want to slap them and say "Do you know your mother carried you around for nine months and this is the respect you give her?" I really have to stop myself.

Women give the best and most encouraging advice that has brought me peace. Here are the bright spots of the advice when I tell people I do not know what I am doing one lady said "the baby doesn't know that you don't know what your doing". I replied Thank you and I will make sure I have no witnesses! The same person said "just don't drop the baby or shake the baby and you will be just fine". I know that sounds small but to me it was profound and made me feel better. It made me feel great yes I am out of my league but so was everyone else at one time or another!

Now let me take you to a "duh" moment. Jason (who I am engaged too) only advice so far is "You are going to want an Epidural". I replied "duh, no joke". But if I could move back in time. I would have replied "oh no, no epidural for me, I am a tough strong woman and epidurals are for weak woman, I will have it all under control and most certainly do not need an epidural". That statement would have sent Jason over the edge because he knows what a baby I am. He also knows that when I went to the Dr. for the first time to confirm my pregnancy I asked if I could go ahead and schedule a C-section. Which they told me "NO".

It just all goes back to men I think try to be helpful but they really dont know what to say... but they try..so I guess I should give credit for that.. This is my blog of the day... Love, Bama Slammer

Luke Russert

"Tim Russert’s 22-year-old son Luke just got the kind of job most new grads wouldn’t dare to hope for: he’ll be working as a correspondent for NBC News during the upcoming Republican and Democratic conventions. The job is bittersweet for Luke since his dad passed away unexpectedly a month ago. Given everything he’s gone through, Luke still seems pretty excited about the opportunity. Like father, like son. Luke Russert – son of Meet the Press’s Tim Russert, who died tragically this summer – has signed on to help cover the Republican and Democratic national conventions later this year. He’ll report on youth issues for his dad’s network, NBC." I read Tim Russert's books over the summer and they were great! Tim is truly a great story teller and his books had many life lessons in them. I have watched Tim's son Luke interviewed on TV and the kid is a natural! He was so well spoken and composed not just for a 22 year old but for any age! I am happy for him and he will do the job well and I am sure he is humbled for the opportunity! Good Luck to Luke..Love, Bama Slammer

My Neighboor Vera

I have a new neighbor who moved in across from me. I have only had about three conversations with her. But I feel like i have known her all of my life. Vera is 84 years young! She has more energy than any person I know. She is always telling funny stories and offering to help me! Shouldn't it be the other way around?? Vera loves to go to church. She attends church with one of my neighbors. They leave for church at 11:30 am. Today I looked out my window and Ms. Vera had on the prettiest pink outfit with a pink hat to match. It was so sweet! One thing that is interesting about Ms. Vera is she is so friendly. She really does not meet a stranger. She has lived here maybe a month and I bet she knows everyone in the neighborhood. The funniest thing I remember about Ms. Vera is she told me when we first met that she hopes she dies soon because she is 84 years old and she is tired! I Loved it! I thought it was so funny and true! I am sure there will be more post about Vera. She seems to have lived a life we all hope to live. This is my blog of the day... Bama Slammer

Blame Ms. Justice

My blog is for enjoyment. This is my way of expressing my nice thoughts or venting my anger at the world or just adding my two cents. I don't expect anyone to care or even read my blog but it makes me feel better to blog.

Okay back to Ms. Justice she was my English teacher in high school. She was a very interesting person. She always wore those polyester skirts, jackets, hose, and high heels. Ms. Justice was always dressed and came to work ready to educate us "thugs'. Us thugs could careless about the correct way to pronounce "tired' or "tared". I have many more examples that I am sure I will share at a later time. Ms. Justice also had perfectly fixed hair and painted in eyebrows in which I could not take my eyes off of. I remember the day that one of my classmates told me she rode Harley's I imagined her riding Harley's two ways the first being with her perfect hair (no helmet), hose, polyester suit etc. (you get the idea). The other way is that she is completely leathered up from head to toe, chaps, shirts with skulls, a bad ass helmet. If I was not visualizing her on the back of a Harley. I was flirting with Shane the kid who sat next to me. Who at that time looked just like (in my eyes) Donnie Walhberg from New Kids on the Block! I had plenty to say to Shane and therefore could not give a crap about English class. I came to class with an agenda and it had nothing to do with Ms. Justice's agenda. The first 1. Talk to Christal who sat on the other side of me about New Kids on the Block (I will at a later date have more to say about Christal). 2. Flirt with Shane the Donnie Walhberg look a like. 3. When a kid named Carlos came by the room to go to his locker I yelled at him every single day "Hey Car-less where are you walking too". I know that is not funny but it sure was funny at the time. All of us Christal, Shane and everyone around laughed.

The above story explains why I have crappy grammar and cannot write a decent sentence to save my life.

Now let me explain why I cant spell. Back then we had spelling tests. I cheated on every spelling test that ever came my way until I got caught. Every week I would write down my spelling words on a little "cheat sheet" and every week I would make a 100. Until, I decided to cheat the way my friend Christal cheats instead of using my cheating method that has worked for me everytime. I wrote the words on a piece of paper and hung them outside of my English book. I placed my arm over the words and would lift my arm to look at them. Well, I do not remember how far along I got on the Spelling Test but Ms. Justice called out my name and asked " Shay are you looking at your arm or are you cheating". of course I replied "I am looking at my arm". She said "okay" and she called out the next word. I thought to myself I have actually gotten away with this! Then out of nowhere Ms. Justice says" Well let me look to make sure". She came walking over to my desk I lifted my arm and I said "busted". Needless to say she gave me some kind of speech and a zero.

So when you read my blog and you laugh at my grammar, sentence structure, and my spelling go and remind your children that English class might be the class you need to pay attention in. This is my blog of the day.. Love, Bama Slammer

July 14, 2008 Monday-Friendship

My friend Theia is a "blogger". Reading her blog has inspired me and trust me it takes a lot to do that. If you do not like this blog you may want to email Theia and let her know your thoughts.:) . Theia and I grew up together in the great state of Bama... I guess you might have assumed that since the title of the blog is "Alabama Slammer"... I turned another year older this past weekend and getting older has brought out the sentimental old fool in me. So here it goes.....

Friendships have really been on my mind lately. I have always had a great knack or could it be great luck at picking out really great friends. I do credit "friendship building" to the small town that I grew up in. I went to a small county school and you pretty much had to be friends with everyone. With 59 students in your graduating class you would have to hang out with people you didn't really like on the weekends and interact with them in class. That is just how it is and you better learn to get along. I hated that small town growing up and could not wait to move away but now that I am older I am Thankful for living in a town where everyone knows your name and your business..:) okay maybe I could do without the business part... yeah.. now that I think about it that is why I moved... :)

What would I have done without my wonderful friendships lately? I wouldn't have made it... I know that... When times were tough my friends pulled me through and what makes friendships even more special is that I am not sure they even know how much they have helped me through the difficult times in my life lately. I will be forever grateful!

I moved away to Florida many years ago and thankfully I have made some wonderful lifelong friends here also. I can call those Bama./GA/FL friends any minute of the day and it is as if time has stood still and we pick up right were we left off.... I know I am "lucky" and I know the friends that I have made in my life are my big lottery "Power Ball" Pay out...:) Thank you friends! This is my blog of the day...... with love, bama slammer